An eye for an eye will make the world go blind
by LizzyGoode
Summary: A thoughtless moment forces Freddy to run from his problems - and Freddy runs to Zack. Abuse, humor, what more could you ask for? Not a mary sue I swear it. - no slash. Just friendship. Give it a try. had to fix title
1. Wide Awake

_Disclaimer - I don't own school of rock -- and only own the additional characters. Don't sweat it - this is no mary sue. Eventually the pairings will be - Freddy/Katie and Zack/um…I dunno._

_**First -- tell me who you think would be perfect to go out with Zack. Review Review REVIEW!**_

**Chapter one - Wide Awake**

_It was nothing more than another hollow night all alone. Billie knew this nights all too well. They were the nights that she punished herself…but they were also the nights that her father 'may' come home…they were the nights she dreaded…she feared…._

"_Billie, honey." The sweet melodious voice tore into Billie's thick thoughts like a hot knife through butter. "Please come here, honey…"_

_Billie rose to her feet and headed for the door of her bed room. Her mother waited patiently. She'd previously been sitting on the ground, in front of her bed, just staring off into space. She rarely ever did that, the ground was hard. Billie used to sleep on it frequently when she was younger…it was all she ever had to sleep on it. But the harsh conditions had done something to her back, and she had to go to a few doctors to get it sorted out, so Billie preferred to stick to other things -- such as beds._

_Billie stumbled into the kitchen like a drunken fool. "It's that time of year again, Billie…I can't help but think…oh I can't go through this again, sweetie… I don't want him to hurt you and you know the only way to keep you safe is to send you to a friend's house. It'll only be temporally…unless you want to stay…The wisest choice right now is Robert Mooneyham's house. You father had actually always liked good ol' Robby…until he went all abusive…of course." Billie just stared at her mother numbly. This didn't really worry her mother at all, Billie hadn't spoken a single word since…the event. "Please…honey…please…talk to them…"_

A ring erupted out of the silence. Billie Ann groaned loudly, lifting her enormously heavy head to glare at the phone on her bedside table. Her shaky hand soon landed weakly on it and she brought it to her ear. "'Ello?" Billie heard herself mumble into the receiver.

The voice on the other end was male, it was wary and rough. Despite Billie's previous relationships, or lack there of, she could sense that his voice was drenched in pain. Emotional or physical, she couldn't tell.

"Zack Mooneyham there?" Silence crept into the no conversationness, as Billie rested her head on her pillow.

"Do you realize what time it is?" Billie asked in a harsh tone. What moron would call this early?

"Sure," the voice seemed to gasp. There was a pause, as Billie presumed to be him looking at his clock. "3:41."

"Right. So if he wasn't here, where else do you think he'd be?" Billie's tone wasn't increasing, as her eyes slowly drooped to a close.

"Can I speak to him, then?" Was that annoyance in his voice? Oh the nerve of him!

"Sure," Billie answered in fake sweetness. "But I think he's asleep right now."

"Wake him up." It was a short and simple request that the voice seemed confident enough to believe she'd comply to.

"Why?" Billie asked stubbornly.

"Um…I need to talk to him?" Sarcasm…how annoying.

Billie groaned loudly. "And who are you?"

"Freddy Jones," a triumphant, yet resentful voice. More groaning from Billie's end before the barely coherent mumbling of hang on. Freddy could hear the phone dropping onto the table, and a person dragging herself out of the room.

Moments later Zack was on the phone. "Jones? What the hell, man?" Zack lifted a hand to wipe the sleep out of his eyes.

"I need your help…" Zack couldn't help but notice the reluctance in his best friend's voice. Zack waited a moment longer for Freddy to continue. In which he did. "Just tell me I can crash at your place. Just for a few days…"

"What? I can't! Why?!" Zack hated how his voice sounded. Selfish, mean.

"I can't explain it now, Zack. Please. I really need you now. It won't be for long." Freddy was pleading now. It sounded weird coming from the bad boy.

And now, Zack found himself giving in. "Fine." Freddy was still arguing. "Fine!" Silence. "Do you need a ride over or --"

"I'll walk." And with that the line went dead.

Zack slammed the phone down and looked up, getting the odd feeling that he was being watched. He was. Billie stood in his doorway, leaning against the frame. "You won't tell, will you?"

"Nah, I'm not snitch, Mooneyham." Billie's voice was light yet sleepy. "How are you gonna hide him here, though?"

"Easy, he's gonna stay in your room," Zack said subtly. While it was taking time to seep in, Zack decided to quickly change the subject. "I think you'd really like Freddy. He's sorta just like you are but --"

"Did you just say he's staying in my room?" Billie interrupted. "No fucking way."

Zack glared at her. "C'mon, Billie. It's the only room that they don't check." Zack's voice was sleepy but the urgency in it was clear as crystal. "They're so worried about your privacy and your fucking feelings, they won't enter it without your consent. They don't wanna be disappointed. Please, you won't share a bed, and he doesn't have that much 'items'. You'd barely notice he's there."

Zack watched for Freddy out of his window on the second floor, and when his blonde haired friend came into view Zack bounded down the stairs. It was still only 4:27, and Zack's parents were still asleep. Billie was now laying on Zack's bed, snuggled deep in his thick covers, apparently snoozing lightly.

Zack returned with Freddy to his room just mere minutes later. Freddy wasn't looking so good. His hair was a mess, which wasn't really surprising, but his face was paler than usual and there seemed to be a permanent grimace taking over his dry lips.

Freddy collapsed onto Zack's bed, ignoring the sleeping figure in it, and likewise, the figure didn't acknowledge the boy sitting on the foot of the bed. "What happened?" Zack asked, dropping down into a chair beside his desk -- which was beside his bed.

Freddy opened his heavy eyes to stare at his concerned friend. "It's nothing. I just had an argument with Josh, that's all." Zack had met Josh once. Josh was Freddy's step father, and like usual - his mother had gone off and married some sleezeball without Freddy's consent. Josh was rude to Zack that one occasion he had met him and he could tell back then how Josh treated Freddy. But Freddy never backed down…not until now.

"You never run away because of an argument, Jones, what happened?" Zack's voice was more demanding now, it was almost unnerving. But then again, the appearance of his best friend was a little unnerving as well. Freddy didn't answer. "Does he hit you, Freddy?"

Even though Freddy knew Zack would suspect this, the question still surprised him. He'd never shared his home life with anybody. And somehow, in his idiotic stance, Freddy had invited Zack over. Well, really Zack had demanded it. So now Zack had snuck by Freddy and right into the castle. How could he lie to somebody like that? "Not a lot," Freddy shuddered. "Only when he's angry --"

"He's a very angry guy, Freddy," Zack interrupted. But then a thought hit him. "Where does he hit you? I've never seen any…marks…"

Freddy nodded childishly. "Yeah, that's what he wanted. He only hits my chest, stomach or back. Never the face or arms, he rarely hits my legs. He doesn't want any body to suspect."

Silence, and then, "Let me see."

"Let you see what?" Freddy asked, almost a little too fast.

"What do you think! Let me see your bruises," Zack demanded.

"Zack, c'mon now --" Freddy began

"Just get on with it, if he'd stop yelling," Billie mumbled sleepily, sinking further into Zack's pillow.

Freddy looked down at Billie as if he hadn't seen her there. He then stood to his feet and raised his shirt, exposing his back to Zack. Zack's eyes seemed to triple the size. There were long, and seemingly deep gashes that covered the width of Freddy's fragile back. They had scabs and seemed to be a few days old.

"Oh my god," Zack heard himself gasp. "What the hell did he do to you?"

Freddy dropped his shirt and turned around to face his friend. "He had this whip right. It was like from his father who got it from his father and so on. He wanted to see if it worked as good as did on the slaves." The sarcasm and hatred was finally back in Freddy's voice.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Zack uncharacteristically hugged Freddy. Freddy made a face and slowly hugged Zack uncomfortably back. "You can definitely stay here," Zack reassured, breaking the hug. "For as long as you want to." His forehead wrinkled with thought. "Do you need anything?" Silence. "Like food or…clothes?"

"Why? He can't fit in your clothes," Billie mumbled, rolling over to glare at the two of them. "He's like a foot taller."

Freddy shrugged. "Or just a few inches…" He was always modest about his height - or at least in front of Zack.

Zack glared at Billie who glared back evenly. "You can fit in her clothes though," he muttered quietly.

Freddy chuckled. "You're not making me wear a girl's clothes."

Zack shook his head. "Of course not! She shops in the men section, Freddy." His voice was triumphant. Freddy opened his mouth to argue. "We have no other clothing line! You guys have the same height and around the same weight. Plus you both have the same style. So you're gonna share the clothes whether either one of you like it or not!"

Billie and Freddy had fallen silent, but they both had the same look on their face. "So, what about food?" Freddy finally asked.

Zack nodded, stopping himself before he could say the classical line - oh you must be staving. "Stay here with her, I'll be right back with something." With that Zack nearly ran out of the room.

Freddy sat gently down in Zack's chair as Billie curled up underneath the blankets. "Did he s ay where I'll be sleeping?" Freddy finally asked.

"In my room," Billie answered unemotionally. "You can take the bed," she added after a beat.

"There's only one bed?" Freddy asked.

"Yup," Billie answered shortly.

"Well then I don't want to 'deprive' you of it." Freddy's voice actually sounded a little sincere.

"It's fine, it looks like you need the bed more than me," Billie insisted. All her memories of being forced to sleep on the cold hard ground now came flooding back.

Freddy shrugged. "Alright, if you insist." Then the silence fell between them once again. In that silence they both could hear Zack bounding up the stairs and shuffling to his room. He had two plates in his hand. Pancakes. How nice.

Zack handed Freddy a plate with three pancakes on it, he'd already pour the syrup and spread the butter. Then he handed, to both their surprises, Billie a plate with three pancakes, and syrup and butter on it.

"Thanks," Billie said sheepishly, dragging herself to a sitting position. She picked up her fork and dug into the pancakes before settling on Zack with a hard stare. Freddy seemed to be staring at him the same way.

"What?" Zack demanded, leaning against a wall beside the bed. "What!?" he demanded once again, before giving either one of them a chance to answer.

"Where's your food?" Freddy asked slowly.

Zack shrugged. "I wasn't hungry."

Freddy seemed to gasp. "You're not anorexient are you!?" His sarcasm was as thick as the syrup on his plate.

"Ha ha, wow, is there a joker in the house or what?" Zack replied solemnly.

As soon as Billie and Freddy were done eating Zack offered to take their dishes down, but Billie insisted on taking them down herself, so the two could have some time to talk alone. When she returned up stairs she went to her room instead of his. There she pulled out an extra mattress and laid it on the ground in a corner. She threw some thick blankets on it and added a few pillows to the mix. Now it kind of looked like Dewey's bed.

But instead of laying back down in that bed, she grabbed a few articles of clothing from the mess of a closet she proudly claimed as hers and headed for the bathroom that connected to her room. She took no more than thirty minutes to take a shower and change into fresh clothes. She brushed her wet hair in the bathroom then head back to her room to put on her classical black and white high tops. She had on a pair of baggy black jeans and a black shirt with a single word written across it in white letters - Metallica. Her long wet hair had been pulled back in a tight bun. She didn't wear make up or perfume so she didn't have to worry about that. And today was Saturday, so again -- no worries.

Now that all that messy business of the morning was out of the way, it only being 6:17, Billie collapsed on 'Freddy's' bed and turned on the TV that extended from the ceiling with the remote.

When Freddy and Zack entered Billie's room Freddy stopped in the door way, staring at the sleeping form of Billie. Billie had curled into a ball and now was snoozing, once again, quietly. "Geez, is that all she does?" Freddy asked sarcastically.

Zack shrugged, pulling a pair of her larger jeans and a large t-shirt out of her closet. "She's been sleeping a lot ever since she's got here," he added thrusting the clothing at his friend. "Ma said something about her being deprived of it or something back when she was at home…or whatever…Those are your close for tomorrow, unless you wanna change now…?"

Freddy shrugged. "Nah, it's cool, I haven't taken a real shower in weeks."

Zack made a face. "Ah, that's a little too much information for my liking." Freddy chuckled lightly. "You can use Billie's…well I guess it's yours too…now…It's right there." Zack pointed to a large white door. "Just lock it, but I'm pretty sure Billie will get the hint when she hears the water…and sees the light."

Freddy grinned inwardly and headed for the bathroom that connected to Billie's room. By the time Freddy came out of the bathroom Billie was awake, she was laying snuggling under her blankets watching a classical show - Teen Titans (A/N: haha…greatest show ever!) She had on a blank expression, as if she'd already seen this episode a thousand times before -- and yet she still laughed at the same jokes.

Billie looked up when Freddy exited the bathroom, closing the door behind him. "Oh hey, enjoying my shower. Boy, let me tell you about all the sex that goes on in there." Billie gave a whistle, then a chuckle at Freddy's expression. Freddy eyed the clock on the bedside table. 2:37. "You look kinda tired there, buddy." How observant.

Freddy returned his gaze back to Billie. "Well I guess I am…a little bit."

Billie hoped off of his bed, and practically threw the remote onto the table. "Well then, sleep away. I was just getting up anyways."

"You don't have to --" Freddy began to say but stopped quickly, a wave of dizziness overcoming him. He swayed slightly, leaning towards Billie.

"I don't have to, buddy, it looks like you do." Billie pulled back the blanket and helped Freddy to the bed. She covered him up before he could and handed him the remote. "Get some rest, Jones." And with that, Billie left the room.

When Zack left the Kitchen he found her curled up on the couch. "where's Freddy?" he asked her, setting the water she had asked for down on the table.

"Upstairs," Billie mumbled. "Think he's asleep, he didn't seem all that well after his shower."

Zack nodded and said his thanks before heading up the stairs. Freddy, as it turned out, hadn't been able to fall to sleep. Lately he'd been having pretty freaky nightmares that were all too real for his liking. He didn't really get all that much sleep at home anyways, so he was alright with that. But lately every time he'd been able to sleep, his nightmares kept him up.

"Freddy?" Zack asked, pushing open Billie's bed room door. Freddy was curled up in the bed, his eyes closed tightly. But somehow Zack was pretty sure his friend wasn't sleeping. "Freddy, man, we have a performance in two days, you think you're gonna be up for that? We have to crame at least ten hours of practice into these two days coming up."

"I can take it," Freddy mumbled into his pillow. Why did his head hurt so much? He never got hit in his head before.

"Alright, we have practice in two hours, I persuaded Dewey to push it back a little, for your sake." Zack, like usual, sounded concern.

"Thanks," Freddy grunted without looking up. After a moment's thought he added, "Thanks for everything."

Freddy tried his damndest to stay strong during the practice session, they did after all -- really need one. Billie had tagged along with Zack and Freddy, and it was her idea to have Freddy wear earplugs after he claimed that the noise was killing his head.

At the end of the session - nearly four hours later, Freddy was almost back to his regular self. He began making sarcastic comments toward Summer and Marta, and shared rather funny jokes with Zack and Katie. Zack and Billie never shared the whole thing about Freddy's father with the band, Freddy was a little relieved due to this. What badass drummer got smacked around? By a preppy snob, no less.

Zack and Freddy had stated, very briefly, what had happened to Dewey, and they had to physically hold Dewey back while he tried to leave the apartment to go 'kill Freddy's pappy'.

Freddy collapsed down onto one of the few couches in Ned's apartment, beside Billie who was reading a book. In the rare times they had together, Freddy soon came to notice, this gal sure did read an awful lot. Despite Freddy's hatred for books, he still asked the all familiar question - "Whatcha reading?"

Billie looked up from the book to look at Freddy. "Cirque Du Freak," she answered simply. Freddy nodded a blank nod, telling her bluntly that he'd never heard, read, nor seen that book. "It's a book about vampires," Billie began. "Written in first person -- Darren Shan's point of view. It sorta recreates the whole vampire mythology, but not entirely…it's intriguing…I like it…"

Freddy chuckled. "Sounds like a good book?"

Billie nodded but decided to change the subject anyways. "So, you're a pretty good drummer, huh?" Alright…stupid question.

Freddy chuckled again. "Yeah…I guess so…you play any instruments?"

Billie shrugged solemnly. "I play the radio…it plays music -- very instrumental music," a knowing nod. Freddy smirked at her sense of humor. "I'm not too shabby at keyboard…I'm not too good at it…but I don't suck." A pride grin.

"That's cool. How'd you get into keyboarding?" Freddy asked. He was trying to make small talk to pass the time, how sweet.

"Well, I guess it all starts when I got into computers?" Billie began. "Got into computers at a friend's house…when she got a computer. Fell into a chat room, a digimon chat room." Freddy smirked at the word -- digimon. "It was a great show, you know you loved it…least the first two seasons…anyway - Seem in chat rooms, you have to type at least as fast as everyone else to ever keep up. So I taught myself. Incorrectly sure -- but now I type at least two hundred words per minute…we took a typing test in freshman year. I don't go to that chat room anymore, I still instant message, so I don't get rusty, of course. Well, my friend suggested that I get into music. And I told her I couldn't play an instrument. She, noting my already reflexive fingers suggested I learn keyboard, and told me I could borrow hers. And I did. And I learned…most likely incorrectly, but then again, it doesn't matter how you learn, or what strategies you use -- as long as you play it…not suckily."

Freddy nodding, seeming to be in taking everything Billie was saying. "And why are you here?" Alright, now that's a little mean. "I mean, how come…" he tried to go back and fix it, but Billie was already smirking at him.

"Guess the same reason you're here."

Hey Teacher. Leave them kids alone.


	2. Holier Than Thou

Holier Than Thou

Hate

Hate

I'm your hate

I'm your hate when you want love

Hey I'm your life

I'm the one who took you there

Hey, I'm your life and I no longer care

The performance had come and gone, and Freddy had stood strong during it. Zack's parents still hadn't figured out that Freddy was living with them. Sure, he came through the front door, and 'left' when the parents weren't looking, and he stayed for dinner sometimes, and slept over occasionally, but he had to skip dinner in order to keep it on the down low. Of course Zack and Billie always went and got food when the parents were asleep. It was proving to be quite an easy gig -- until Josh caught on.

Josh showed up at Horace Green High one fair Tuesday…and scared the living shit out of Freddy. Zack hadn't been in school that day and Billie was caught up in the headmaster's office yet again. Freddy had no back up and this bad ass drummer wasn't feeling all that bad anymore.

"Well well well," Josh slurred. What the hell? Was he drunk? Freddy hadn't seen Josh this drunk since…forever. "The punk runs away and yet he still attends school, that's nothing like you, Freddy."

Freddy took a step back, falling back into the tree behind him. "You don't know what is like me," he shot back harshly. Freddy 1 -- evil step father - zip.

But the fear was still there. It always is, isn't it. After all, courage isn't the absence of fear -- it's the conquering of fear -- but who said Frederick Jones was courageous? His father took a few step forwards, enclosing in on Freddy, ignoring the people pouring out of the school. "You're a delinquent, and you **need **discipline. Who can blame me if I was the one to give you that discipline you so very much need?"

Sure, it was a rhetorical question, but every question is asked to be answered. "I can." A female voice from behind Josh cut through the tension on its own. Josh turned to look at the stranger, giving Freddy the room to look, himself. But Freddy didn't need to look, he could recognize that voice from a mile away. Katherine Brown. "It's child abuse, young sir, and child abuse just so happens to be illegal. I'm pretty sure the cops aren't going to fall for your startling good looks." Katie winked at Freddy. "Because, personally, I don't find them at all special." Wow, she sounded smart…what a huge turn on. Despite his situation, Freddy couldn't help smiling. How was Katie going to help him? He didn't know. He didn't care. All that matters is that Katie **_wanted _**to help him. "Leave him alone."

Both Katie and Freddy figured that Josh would react with anger, but he did no such thing. He turned back to Freddy. "You're mother has been worried sick, she wanted to call the cops, and place in a missing person's report. You're lucky I stopped her, telling her you'd probably show up sooner or later. Telling her I'd handle it. You left your mother and didn't even worry. You ungrateful brat. I'll give you a ride home."

Josh took a hold of Freddy's upper arm and began dragging him. Katie opened her mouth to argue furthermore. "Don't worry, Katie. I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow," Freddy reassured her before she could say anything. Against her will, Katie forced herself to nod, and watch Freddy's father drag him away and to the truck.

Josh wrenched open the passenger door and violently flung Freddy into the car, viciously slamming the door close before stomping over to the drivers side. They drove in silent, Freddy fearing what was about to happen to him once they were to reach their destination.

Josh Randall threw open the front door and threw Freddy in. Freddy barely caught himself from falling. Josh slammed the door shut and trudged over to Freddy's fragile form. "What the hell were you thinking! Your hands and knees now!" Freddy, already guessing what was to come, passively dropped to his hands and knees. "Push up position." Freddy went into the push up position -- in the up position, his arms outstretched. Josh had tried this on him before -- and it was by far the worst. Freddy, after all, never was the athletic type.

"Down," Josh commanded in a calm voice. Freddy went down, bending his elbows to 90 degree angles. He had perfected his push ups within the few years Josh had adopted Freddy as his 'child'. Freddy hated pushups, every single one hurt so much. "Up." Freddy shoved softly away from the surface, stopping with his arms out stretch and holding the position - waiting for the next command. "Down." He once again brought his body down the exact right amount, holding the position, without shaking at all, for the next command. It went on like this for quite some time. It felt like hours weighing down on him - until --

Freddy couldn't catch himself before he collapsed onto the ground, breathing heavily. He looked up at the disappointed look his step father was sending him. "I'm sorry," he mumbled untruthfully. He wasn't sorry. And why should he be? He'd done what? 30, 40 push ups? What the hell, man.

"Get up," Josh commanded. Freddy breathlessly forced himself to his feet. "Take off your shirt." Freddy cocked an eyebrow at this command. "Take it off now."

Freddy unbuttoned his school shirt and dropped it to the floor beside him. He didn't want to make his step father any angrier than he already was. Josh left Freddy alone in the living and went to his own bedroom, to rummage through a few boxes, before -- aha, his trusty whip.

When Josh returned, Freddy was already trembling, fearing what was next. "Face to the wall, hands on the wall." Freddy turned away from his father and put both hands on the wall, shoulder length apart. He'd already been hit with this whip before, just three or four hits though, and he was definitely starting to heal, but if Josh continued to tear open his old wounds…well then they'd never fully heal…he'd never fully get rid of his pain.

The whip sliced through the air then continued to slice into Freddy's back. He was able to muffle the yelp of pain, he was able to muffle the second, third, and forth one. But the fifth one was the first to actually cross over another wound. The cry of pain erupted from his clenched teeth and was nearly followed by dry sobs. But he was able to hold them off.

The whipping stopped abruptly and Josh was at his side, a heavy hand gripping where his shoulder met neck. "Have you learned your lesson, brat?" Freddy nodded weakly. Everything hurt so so much -- he didn't know what to do, all he wanted to do was collapse and pass out. But he couldn't do that. Josh pushed Freddy away from him, and Freddy barely caught himself from falling, with a little help from the wall. "You're grounded. No more fuckin' band practice. Now go to your room."

Freddy nodded and headed to his room, not looking back, just trying to focus on staying awake. He tripped quite a few times going up the stairs, and he could distinctly hear the echo of his step father's laughter in the back ground. He ignored it, and shoved himself on. Freddy Jones burst through his door with such a force that once his door snapped open he stumbled into the room and eventually to the floor. He laid in a heap of limps for quite some time, just breathing heavily and sobbing dryly. He hated letting his father see him break down -- he'd rather die than let that damn bastard see him at his weakest -- so he cried, sure. But he cried alone. He stood strong when he had to.

He knew it was incorrect. He'd even sworn to a very old, and very dear friend that he'd never use a razor in that way again. But he wasn't using a razor, he was using a knife. Just to ease the pain a little. Stupid, huh? You father gives you plenty of deep slashes across your skin, and all you want to do is give yourself more. But your pain is more warming than his. His is cold, and hollow, and full of superiority. But your pain was actually full of love, and warmth. It was full. You did it to yourself, you didn't try to stop somebody from doing it to you. It was the only out he knew.

The gashes he gave himself across his arm -- not the lower wrist sort of arm, it was too noticeable, but further back, from the middle of his forearm to his elbow -- always on the inside of his arm. -- they were the deepest he'd ever made. He didn't mean to. He was just so furious; he couldn't take his hatred out on the one who he hated the most. So he took it out on the only person he could -- himself.

Before, there were barely any prickles of blood. - Sure they'd leave red, slightly, swollen skin around the cut, but they never bled so freely. But knives weren't razors. As Freddy stared down at the three long gashes he'd just made, he soon realized that he could feel the burning of it. In two of the three gashes, his skin had splinted slightly apart, leaving a deep red line of once poured blood in between the skin foilds. The other one wasn't as deep -- but still nothing less than a red line. The entire area around the three gashes felt hot -- as if they were giving off heat. It hurt to move his forearm as well -- but only if his shirt rubbed against it.

He let the knife slide from his hands and into the bathroom sink. What was he going to say to Zack? And what about Billie? The girl who seemed to know EVERYTHING. But Billie wouldn't rat him out, he knew that. Zack wouldn't either. But he'd seen Billie's arms when her shirt sleeves had risen up before she'd woken up. Her forearm was covered in a mixture of tiny, thick, thin, long, short, big line scars. He knew what they were from. She had slit her wrist once upon a time. But none were new. The latest was at least a month old. She had stopped when she had finally escaped her father -- Freddy guessed. But maybe that really was all he really need -- to escape _his _father.

He had tried it once. And, despite the failure, he will not surrender.


	3. Nothing else matters

_Nothing Else Matters_

_So close_

_No matter how far_

_Couldn't be much more from the heart_

_Forever trust in who we are_

_But nothing else matters_

_Tell me who sings that song and I'll give a shout out to you -…and tell me the name of that song…._

_It had been two days before Zack fully realized that Freddy Jones, his best friend since the fifth grade, was actually avoiding him. It infuriated Zack, just a little bit, not that he'd actually show it. But he had opened up his house and risked his LIFE(!!!) for that boy and all he could do in return was ignore him. Freddy Jones! Ignoring! And when he came to that conclusion, it worried the poor boy. Why did Freddy return home? What happened when he did?_

_Billie was pretty passive about this, and every band member Zack asked, commented that they hadn't noticed anything weird about Freddy, other than how nicer he had became. It was Katie that really alerted Zack. She told him she was worried for Freddy, mainly because the 'brat' refused to talk to her. She knew something was wrong -- but he just…he just wouldn't open up. Zack wanted so badly to tell Katie that she was right, there really was something wrong with Freddy, but he just couldn't. _

"_We can't spy on him," Zack said for the fifth time that week. Katie opened her mouth objectively. "I know, Katie. I'm worried too. But this _**is **_Freddy. He hates prying. He'd get _pissed_."_

_Billie watched the argument unenthusiastically. Freddy and Billie had really been bonding before he disappeared from their sight. They watched shows together (including teen titans), and she gave him over enthusiastic book reviews that he really didn't mind. Billie 'rocked' out with him on the keyboard; he was teaching her a few simple drum rhythms. But he was avoiding her as well. She didn't really help, she ignored every conversation about him, and avoided the route she had realized he took to avoid her… which basically means -- she did nothing._

"_The others aren't convinced, Zack. We're a band, goddamnit. And he's hurt! We have to do _something_!" Great. So now Katie was getting pissed -- how…Katie never got pissed. Katie suddenly looked away from Zack to Billie, she wasn't paying attention. _

_Billie's chin was in her hand, -- her elbow holding her arm up. She was just staring off into space. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Katie snapped. Zack jumped, but Billie didn't. She casually turned her head to look at her 'friend'. "Freddy's hurt, and you know that. Don't you? Why don't you care? Why are you so mean?"_

"_I'm not mean," Billie murmured quietly. She wasn't -- REALLY! She was nice. She was nice to a guy and he avoids her now. All she could do was let the silence consume her once again._

"_He _was _you friend! Why aren't you worried? Why don't _you _want to do something?" Katie was being a little drastic. She hadn't really had time to bond with Billie -- and now all those feelings she tucked underneath the loose floorboards were coming back. "Since you don't care about Freddy anymore, then you need to find new friends, 'cause we don't care about you anymore." Katie turned and stormed off._

_Zack looked from Katie's retreating back to Billie, who was still sitting at her lunch table. She wasn't reacting, but Zack had learned more about her in the past few weeks. He knew she really was boiling underneath the surface. "Look, Katie's just--"_

"_It's fine," Billie breathed. "She has a strong point." Billie rose from her seat, still looking into Zack's deep brown eyes. "I _**don't **_care about Freddy." Billie retreated as well, heading for the library, most likely. She'd been spending an awful lot of time in that thing. Library? Who goes there in high school? Nerds. Geeks, maybe. And Zack wasn't the only one to suspect this. A few fellow students began poking fun at Billie's hunger for litature -- so Billie coolly began poking fun at their thirst for stupidity._

_Zack looked from the area where Billie used to be to where Katie used to be. He sighed angrily and walked off in a different direction. He felt for Freddy, he could understand what he was doing…kind of…y'know it that sense -- that 'not knowing a damn thing' sense. He understood Katie and he understood Billie. But what he didn't understand was himself. Why wasn't he doing something. Billie's silence was something -- and Katie's annoyance was something else. But Zack's inaction…well that couldn't be something. It was nothing…unless nothing was something…_

**Knock it off. This isn't the time to be talking to myself**_, Zack thought bitterly as he sat down in the seat in front of Freddy's. Freddy was already there, laying his head on his arms, and shielding his face. Zack looked down at Freddy before turning back in his seat. He couldn't…but there was ten minutes left of lunch. Why would Freddy not finish his favorite class?_

"_Freddy." His voice was dark, filled with anger he was trying to control. Freddy lifted his head to stare evenly at Zack._

"_Sorry," Freddy spat. "If I'd known you were here, I would've gone to the library in stead." …so that's where he went when he skipped lunch…aha…_

"_Why are you being like this?" Zack asked weakly. "What did I ever do to you?"_

_Something faltered in Freddy's eyes… "You didn't do anything, Zack. I just…I just need my space. I need to have some time by myself."_

_Zack shook his head. "That's not you Freddy."_

_Freddy scowled, slightly. "You don't know what's me." His step father flashed through his mind for a second, and he barely noticed how he grimaced._

"_What's the matter with you?" Zack asked, leaning against the back of his seat._

"_Nothing," Freddy snapped. "I'm fine!"_

"_It's your dad," Zack stated, ignoring Freddy's previous comment. "He hurt you again, didn't he. Why would that make you stop communicating with us. Why would that make you skip lunch, and band practice…unless…-- he's making you! Isn't he!"_

_Freddy shook his head. He REALLY didn't want to get into this. "No. No -- that's not what it is at all. _**I **_want to. I hate you all." Oooooooooook…huge give-a-way. _

_Zack was staring hard at Freddy. "Why didn't you just tell me Freddy? I already knew he was a beater -- why didn't you just tell me -- instead of ripping your band apart?" Awww….how emotional…_

"_Ripping them apart? What are you talking about?" He knew how the 'groupies' felt about his absence, and he new how the crew felt, and he knew how Katie felt, and he knew how the singers felt -- but how was that ripping them apart?_

"_Katie wanted to spy on you," Zack sighed. "But I said no. And now she's pissed at Billie for not caring -- which basically means that she's pissed at me too for associating myself with Billie. Marta and Alicia were behind Katie and they're bound to hate me too. Then there's Tomika who agrees with me, so Katie, Marta and Alicia basically just hates her. Lawrence acts pretty much like Billie, so Katie ignores him. Frankie is a little worried -- and Leonardo just doesn't care. Marco ignores the entire situation and the groupies are happy you're gone. They hate you. They hate me. Thanks a whole fuckin' lot."_

_Freddy shook his head. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't kno -- I didn't mean to." Freddy paused then opened his mouth again -- to apologize more formally. _

_Zack raised a hand. "I don't care. That's not my problem. You left us. You ignore us. You act like we were never friends, Freddy. That hurts…it hits me right here." He placed his hand over his heart, jokingly -- but immediately regretted it. He was trying to be serious -- he did want Freddy to get the message. So what the hell was he doing joking?…habit…_

"_Katie hates me?" Freddy asked. His eyes didn't look right. Zack knew there was something obviously wrong -- and now he knew what. Freddy's eyes no longer gleamed with mischief…they just gleamed with pain. Misery. "She wanted to stop him from taking me…but I told her not to…she could've helped -- and I dismissed her like she was at my disposal."_

_Zack shook his head gently. "She doesn't hate you. She's concerned. Her friendship is overriding her anger. She cares for you Freddy -- like a lot. But she's not the only one."_

_Freddy raised an eye brow. "I know you care for me too Zack…but that's hardly the --"_

"_Not me, moron. Don't you remember a friend of mine…name was something like tellie but different…You remember her?" Zack asked sarcastically._

_Realization dawned on Freddy. "Oh…Why would she care about me? We barely know each other."_

"_She never completely revealed her life to you, but you should've noticed -- you're the first person who hasn't judged her. The band, our friends, they don't like her. It's just you and me. She's shutting down too. All this pressure's really getting to her, even if she doesn't complain about it. She won't eat, she's amazingly getting worst grades than you in school -- and you know how much she reads. You've talked to her, you know how smart she is. You hurt her. And all you're concern about is Katie --"_

"_I've known Katie longer --" Freddy began defensively._

"_You mean you've liked Katie longer," Zack shot back. He wasn't trying to degrade Katie, he liked her too. But he liked her enough to know she didn't like Freddy as much as he wanted her to. "Ever notice that she doesn't look directly at you until you stop looking at her?"_

"_What are you talking about?" Freddy spat harshly. Zack had seen Freddy angry plenty of times. So angry -- he'd seen him in harsh, brutal, vicious fights as well. But Freddy had never used so much emotion in his voice as he did now._

"_Katie likes another guy, Freddy…" Zack breathed out slowly. Freddy's entire face just fell apart. "She likes Ray Thompson…and I'm pretty sure he's into her as well…"_

"_You're lying," Freddy gasped. "You're just mad because I don't like your stupid little friend. You've gone lower than I would've guessed you could!!"_

_Zack was shaking his head angrily. "Freddy I --" but Freddy cut him off by storming out of the class room._

_Freddy continued to ignore and dodge Zack as well as the band…including Katie, for the next three weeks. He hated to admit this to himself, but some small part of himself did believe Zack was telling the truth. They'd been friends for five years, why would Zack throw it all away like this? …he wouldn't…that's just not Zack…_

_Things weren't improving for Freddy at home. Josh had soon came to a realization that he could do anything to Freddy and Freddy would be too ashamed to tell. He also knew, despite how much Freddy denied it, that because of him -- Freddy wasn't seeing the band. And because of that the band was going to have to find a replacement soon. But not before they try to consult with Freddy first._


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE

_Author's note._

ShortAtntionSpaz asked if this was the same Billy as on the show. And the answer is NO. Sorry for the confusion. But this is a different Billie. But that also reminds me that I should include the crew more into the story, and sorry about not doing so.

Also, don't worry, this will never ever ever be slash! I don't hate them, I think slash is quite interesting. But don't worry! My characters are straight and always shall be. If you want diverse characters - gay ones, then just say so, and I'll add some. But Freddy, and Zack, and Katie, and Billie and all the main characters in this show and story will be as they were portrayed on screen - Straight!

Thank you ShortAtntionSpaz and The Masked Marauder for reviewing. It was appreciated greatly. I'm working on the next chapter, don't worry, it'll be updating in a short time…like a day…the holidays will not stunt the growth of this story…because I hate the holidays! So don't worry. I'm at school right now, so I can't.


	5. Toy Soldiers

Well, golly, since I've actually gotten reviews -- figured it'd help a lot more if I get onto the whole updating thing. So I sat down and wrote this story all…today…well I am gonna…and won't stop until the chapter is complete!!!

Tell me who this song belongs to and I'll give you props…review and I guess I will too…but if you don't get it -- the chapters of my stories always belong to somebody…I LOVE! But the lil dialogue underneath the chapters are always by the same person. Just interesting song thing to me…

On with the story!!!

One more thing - Zack still hasn't been paired up…tell me if you have any suggestions…

_Toy Soldiers_

_What we have to do is deal with it when these individuals are young enough, if you will, to be saved. Not in a religious sense, but not to constitute what this country, at times calls their throw-away children._

"Freddy." Freddy turned around quickly. Why hadn't he guessed this? It was Summer…immediately Freddy had to adjust his view, and visibly looked down on Summer. He ignored the stranger standing by her completely. Now seeing that she had his attention, Summer proceeded. "This is Jack. He's replacing her." She didn't sound all that upset, Freddy noted. "You have missed nearly three months of practice, Freddy, and that…well that is just unacceptable. We have performances and we are in dire need of practice. And if there is no drummer then there cannot be a band. Jack is our new drummer. And you are suspended until further notice. That is all," Summer concluded, taking in the death glare Freddy was openly giving Jack. "You can go back to ignoring your only friends."

Freddy looked Jack up and down…this square…replacing him! Even if he wasn't replacing him, Freddy highly doubted he'd EVER associate himself with somebody like this dude. He wore a sweater vest, and a pair of 'dress' pants. His hair was neatly combed back, the sort of hair style you'd have in 5th grade all thanks to your mommy. He stood straight and proud, and Freddy wanted nothing more than to punch him.

"Fine," Freddy ground out rationally. He, after all, hadn't been to band practice in quite some time, and what did he actually expect them to do? Patiently wait for him to get over his troubles? Even though he was sure this wasn't Dewey's idea, he some how knew that Dewey wanted to keep things moving. It was too late, and there was nothing Freddy could do. Their new drummer shall be this square, because the bad boy has just left the building. "If that's the way you want it Summer." Freddy slammed his locker door and left without another word. He knew how much Summer liked him, but now he was finished with pretending. He was finished with being nice toward her.

Freddy was too busy seething that he didn't see Zack before running into him, literally, of course. Zack lurched back, looking at Freddy with wide eyes. Zack expected Freddy to walk away -- but Freddy was too angry for that. He actually wanted to complain. Freddy Jones never complained about ANYTHING. Anything except this…of course. "She replaced me," he blurted out before he could stop himself. Before, he had told Zack everything, why not now? "Did you know about this?"

Zack shook his head. "Nah," he answered in a low voice. Freddy followed Zack over to his locker. "They were talking about you a few days ago…but I didn't think Dewey would actually go as far as letting Summer take absolute control of the situation…I was pretty sure Dewey wouldn't let her kick you out of the band…I was pretty sure he would let that…that thing join…in your place…I'm sorry, Freddy…"

(A/N: just talked on msn right…who just writes…I need some influence…and my friend -- Tracy has burnt me the Eminem CD - Encore…I'm really happy!…but now -- back to the story)

Freddy shook his head. "You shouldn't be. I'm the…s-s-s-…I mean…I'm s--…well… you see…I'm…" Freddy gave Zack a look.

"Sorry?" Zack asked encouragingly. The old Freddy was back, and Zack couldn't be happier.

Freddy nodded. "What bout that new drummer? That queer, ever get how he follows Summer 'round like a sick pup? Bet he can't even drum." Zack nodded, agreeing.

Billie appeared beside Zack. Zack pulled out his history text, before shutting the door gently. Freddy looked over at Billie. "Hey," he greeted quietly. The students around them were beginning to thin out. Freddy didn't expect Billie to answer. He expected her to do the normal girl thing, despite how she had always been acting towards him.

"Hey," Billie replied evenly. It was the tone she had always used with him, but less excited. She had the normal blank, uncaring expression plastered to her smooth, sweet face -- as if nothing had happened between them. "What's up?"

Freddy shook his head. "I got kicked out of the band," he answered bluntly, even though he was sure that wasn't what she was asking.

Billie nodded, knowingly. She knew EVERYTHING. "I know," she said predictably. "She banished me." For some odd reason, Billie didn't appear to be all that upset. "That's alright, no offense, Zack. With Summer running the show…" Billie trailed off. Freddy couldn't help noticing that he'd never seen her insult anyone at all. How…inhuman…

The bell sounded -- notifying the trio that they were now late for class. Freddy began walking off -- in the wrong direction, no less -- and Billie grabbed his wrist. Zack probably would have but he had started sprinting down the hall to his history class.

Freddy winced, a loud in take of breath, before turning to look at Billie. "What the hell?" Billie asked out loud before roughly pushing up his shirt sleeve to reveal the numerous, sometimes deep gashes running up the inside of his arm. "Oh…my…god…" it was nothing new. She saw them every time she wore short sleeves. But this wasn't Freddy. It couldn't be. He was strong. And she was not.

"It's nothing," Freddy snapped, wrenching his arm out of Billie's grasp and hastily pulling down his shirt sleeve. "It's nothing," he repeated.

Billie shook her head. "Freddy…no…you're better than this…"

"That's where your wrong," Freddy snapped. "I'm NOT better. I'm not." He shook his head. "Please don't tell anyone."

Billie nodded. "Alright." She started heading to their Chemistry class, Freddy in step beside her. "But keep in mind, Freddy. It's like alcohol -- even though you can get addicted -- it doesn't heal you. It only numbs the pain -- but it cannot make it go away."

They turned into the room, while their teacher -- Mrs. Gillespie -- was in the middle of a speech. A long and tiresome speech no doubt. Gillespie whipped around to glare at the two teenagers as the door slammed close noisily. "Pass?" she snapped angrily.

"Nope," Billie answered casually, as she strode over to her seat, Freddy dropping down into the one in front of her.

"Tardy again, Rebelle?" Gillespie snapped angrily. (A/N: not so sure if that is the surname I gave Billie…but lets hope, eh? Please PLEASE tell me if it's not. Point out my faults. Every human is flawed. I don't mind flames…)

Billie nodded. "Apparently so." Freddy turned around to give Billie a grin. Friends were good to have. It was refreshing. Billie grinned at Freddy in return.

The hour went by slowly. Dreadfully slow! The entire period Gillespie was snapping rudely at Freddy and Billie for every mistake they made, while she ignored other students who made the exact same mistakes. Finally, after Schaffer purposefully knocked into Freddy -- making him drop his test tube, shattering on the ground, Gillespie just lost it.

She whirled around to glare at Freddy. "For God's sake! Can't you ever do anything right?" she nearly screamed at Freddy.

Freddy opened his mouth to reply with a sheepish -- sorry, but somebody replied for him. "Sure he can. He can do plenty of things right," Billie snapped rudely.

"Apparently punctuality and kindness aren't amongst those," Summer commented nastily. The teacher ignored this.

Billie and Freddy both looked over at Summer at the same time -- with the same look on their faces. "You're gonna start talking about kindness?" Freddy snapped defensively.

Gillespie looked back at Freddy. "Shut up," she snapped. "No one told you to talk."

Freddy opened his mouth to defend himself. "Let it go Freddy," Billie whispered into Freddy's ear. "Bitches stick together, you cannot win."

Freddy looked back at Billie, but Gillespie had already heard her. "Get out," she gasped quietly, but still harshly. "Get out of my room you ungrateful brat!" She threw her hand toward the door.

Billie gave her a faked surprise look. "But--but…what did I do?" she gasped.

Freddy turned in his seat to grin at Billie. "Well you see," he began. "You said a very bad word, Rebelle. You said Bitch. And according to the teacher's book of nerdom…bitch is unacceptable. Dumbass or jackass or stupid ass or…asshole…those will all be acceptable when looking at Gillespie or people like Summer." He gasped the last word. Her name.

Billie nodded. "True true." Billie stood from her seat. Picking up her bag, she casually strode to the front of the class room. "Keep that in mind, kiddies. Just tell the TRUTH and you'll be reward with the rest of the day, and possibly week off. Tell the truth." Billie turned and left the room. Freddy jumped from his seat and followed her. As they walked down the hall together they could clearly hear a few echoes of the word bitch, asshole, etc. And they couldn't help grinning.

The group was back together and Freddy was feeling much better. But deep down he was sure his father would hate this. His father would be pissed…but his father didn't have to life his life. And his father didn't run it either. He was of his own and shan't ever fall again.

A/N -- Gillespie is pronounced Ga-leps-pee. I have a teacher that acts JUST LIKE HER. With that name…hahah..bitch…R/R PLEASE!!!! Sorry for any mistakes.


	6. Author's note part two

_Author's note_

_You do not have to read this if you don't - it's clearly not part of the story._

_Thank you for the reviews. Don't worry; this whole author's note thing won't be daily. But I liked to thank all who reviewed, I would send emails…but I'm in school and that's not permitted._

_Thank you for complimenting my own character Billie. And no, she's actually nothing like me. I'm an awful friend and I seem to be the last one to know…anything! I saw Higher ground, I love that show so so much a few years ago. It's a little corny to me now; I like a few of the characters - and problems they run into. A particular character interested me - Daisy, the 'gothic' one. She was funny, truthful, and completely unique. She stood up for what she was and what she believed in, ignoring the stares she was bound to gather along the way._

_So I sorta based Billie off her - but adding a few characteristics, and editing out a few characteristics. I think Billie would be a fabulous friend - and I'm sure…Freddy does as well…heheheh._


	7. WASTE

**A/N -- for every chapter, if you tell where's I get the title for my chapter (always music -- just say the name of the band) and the lil saying underneath it…I'll…um…thank you a lot?… **

**Thank you ShortAtntionSpaz and The Masked Marauder for reviewing once again…got 21 jump street on DVD…so there's lots and lots more influence coming out…hmmm johnny depp….On with the SHOW!!!**

Sorry about any mistakes that may lie within this WONDERFUL piece of work…heheh… read and review please. Tell me bout all the faults…or the …good parts? Just review. Lots and lots of reviews.

_WASTE_

_All your insults_

_And your curses_

_Make me feel like I'm not a person_

_And I fell like I am nothing_

_But you made me so do something._

'_Cause I'm fucked up_

_Because you are_

_Need attention_

_Attention you couldn't give._

"Kid!!!" Josh shouted loudly, dead sure that the 'kid' would hear him just fine. Even though he heard movement on the stairs -- they weren't fast enough. "Get your ass down here now!" The stomps seemed to pick up speed. Freddy stopped beside his father. "Get me a beer," Josh ordered strictly.

Freddy sighed loudly before walking into the kitchen and pulling out a beer. He hated being at Josh's expense. His mother was out of town on some business ordeal, she was supposed to be gone for nearly a month, but Josh encouraged her to take an extra month or two off. Freddy handed the beer to Josh, dreading the moment when he gets fully drunk.

"I have to go out," Freddy said, informative, but the look in his eyes told Josh that he was actually asking for permission. "I didn't fully understand the chemistry homework, and the girl behind me understands everything….can I go to her house and…do work?"

Josh grinned widely. He loved seeing the tortured look Freddy always showed when he was in the process of doing something he would much rather not to. "Sure," Josh answered pleasantly. "Be back by supper."

Freddy gave Josh an odd look. "Um…Josh…you don't cook…." Josh nodded. "And…I don't cook…" Another nod. "And mom left us no money…" Another nod. "We're not having supper…?"

Josh looked up at Freddy. "Aren't you leaving or something?

Freddy nodded this time and head upstairs to grab his bag -- then hurried out of the door before Josh could change his mind. He didn't lie -- he was going to Zack's -- but Josh didn't need to know that they had no chemistry homework.

He was tempted to go over to Dewey's but decided against it. He didn't want to see Dewey, and he definitely didn't want to see summer. He wasn't quite sure if Zack would be home or at practice, but he was pretty sure Billie wasn't one to go many places. He had left his only drum set at Zack's (for safe keeping) so he could always just practice. Zack's parents were actually pretty lenient about it, it was actually beginning to scare Freddy.

Freddy knocked on the door and was surprised when Stefan answered the door. Freddy looked him up and down. Stefan hadn't changed…at all! Stefan was Zack's cousin - and they hated each other. Freddy and Stefan were the exact opposite, but the same age, so Zack's parents always tried to put them together to make 'peace' -- it never worked. Stefan was proper, just like that new drummer. He spoke proper English and got As in…well EVERYTHING. He looked down on Freddy, and sometimes Zack…he thought he was better than Freddy.

"Zack is not present," Stefan said automatically, with a crude sneer on his feminine lips. "Please return to where you came from."

Freddy glared. Now he just couldn't leave. "Billie here, bro?" Sure he never spoke like that, but that sort of language did just so happen to upset Stefan dramatically -- so that is how he speaks from now on.

"Should have known you two delinquents would band together like some sort of…gang," he sighed, walking away. He left the door open so Freddy naturally suspected that it was his form of welcoming him in. Stefan walked into the dinning room and sat down at the stainless table, to continue his…homework (gasp).

Freddy went up the stairs himself, having already learned the entire layout of the house in the 5th grade. He stopped at Billie's room and knocked firmly on the door. "Stefan, I already told you I don't want to bring that D up to an A!" Came the loud, rude voice. "I don't care if Ds are Fs in Europe! We don't live in Europe!"

Freddy grinned slightly. Good ol' Billie Rebelle. Freddy pushed open the door. Billie turned to look at Freddy as Freddy looked at her TV. Music. She was watching a channel that apparently only aired music videos. Dedicate live or something like that. Except not Dedicate live, this one apparently only aired rock and punk music videos. Billie turned down the volume, but still loud enough to hear. "Hey stranger," she greeted pleasantly. "I'm surprised you still know your way around here…since it's been so long."

Freddy grinned sheepishly. He entered the room without her consent and sat down lightly on her bed. Billie looked at him for a long time before moving over so he'd have more room. She was laying down, and Freddy decided to lay down beside her. There were several long pillows that she set up so she could lay on, and now Freddy laid his head on them as well. Sure, it felt nice and probably looked nice as well -- but get this! It was completely, and totally romantic-less. Just a few friends cuddling on a bed together. Freddy lifted his arm and snuggled it around Billie's shoulders and Billie seemed to glide closer to him, as they continued to watch the music videos.

Billie leaned her head against the edge of Freddy's shoulder and closed her eyes, letting a tired yawn escape her small mouth. Freddy looked down at her. "Tired?" he asked, after looking back up at the TV.

Billie nodded against his amazingly firm shoulder. "Dead tired. Those brats arrived yesterday…and I haven't been able to sleep since." She yawned again. Freddy nodded, trying not to yawn. Billie looked up at him. "You're tired too though, huh?" Freddy nodded again, sinking his head deeper into Billie's soft pillows. "It's the teenage thing…always be tired…all angst and…well I hate happy people so…" Billie stopped, noticing that she was babbling. "Anyways," she yawned.

Zack yawned heavily, glancing around. Dewey was off somewhere. Most likely in the kitchen, having a 'serious' discussion with the new drummer…probably bout the sort of music Jack is into. Dewey didn't have the same connection he had had with Freddy, anybody could tell that, but he still tried. What a nice guy. However -- without a drummer…there hardly was a rehearsal…as they had already learned.

Zack dropped down onto Dewey's living room couch and rested his guitar on his lap lightly. He threw his feet up onto the coffee table in front of him to create an uneven surface to rest his guitar on (y'know…his knees? Sorry sorry SORRY if that was confusing…I'm not the greatest at explaining images I have…) He began strumming an easy enough tone. The main tune of Nothing else matters -- by Metallica…one of Freddy's favorite bands.

Summer was a busy discussing future plans of the band with Michelle, Eleni, Billy, Marco, Leonardo and Katie. Frankie was sitting on the couch with Zack, a seat over, eating a slice of pizza. Marta, Alicia and Tomeka (I didn't spell that right…I'm so sorry for it.) had taken over the TV the moment Dewey had called 'Time Out'. Zack mindlessly began filling in the words to the song in a soft tone.

Frankie was looking at him now. Zack turned his head to look at Frankie. He knew Frankie no longer belonged to the small group of friends Freddy claimed as his own. They had gotten into a small feud in the 7th grade which escalated to a fist fight. They had been separated and both suspended for two weeks -- and hadn't talked since -- but of course neither one chose to quite the band.

Zack handed Frankie his guitar gently. He somehow understood what Frankie wanted. He knew why Frankie was looking at him. He knew that Frankie expected Zack to live up to his friendship rep. -- since he could not. Zack rose from his seat and headed for the kitchen.

He wasn't quite sure what he was going to say -- but he knew what he wanted to say. He knew how this was gonna go down -- and he was afraid of that. "Dewey," Zack blurted out as he entered the kitchen. Dewey looked up from his conversation to stare at Zack with interest. He was cool like that. He immediately readied himself to listen every time one of his 'kids' came to him with any form of dialogue. "We need to talk." Wow…not a famous line…

"What's happening, Mooneyham?" Dewey asked in his anti-serious tone. Zack flashed a look at Jack, who sat comfortably beside Dewey. He hadn't changed his outfit…and looked totally out of place.

"I cannot continue to play in a band if Freddy isn't in it, Dewey," Zack said slowly. He'd felt like this ever since earlier that day, and he'd been going over this same thought ever since he'd heard of Freddy's official dismembership that morning. Dewey opened his mouth. "I'm sorry, Dewey," Zack continued. "And I'm sorry Jack, it's really nothing toward you. It's just, a band cannot be if all the members aren't united. And I'm the odd man out, Dewey…"

Dewey nodded. "I know what you want, Zack, man. But we waited like what…a few months? And Freddy didn't show. We can't have a band without a drummer, dude. We have a drummer now…and guess what -- he's right here." Dewey waved his hands toward Jack.

"Alright," Zack said plainly. "But you can have a band without three guitarists. I'm out, Dewey. But it's been real fun." Zack turned and left the apartment without a second glance. He headed straight for home, dreading the moment he'd have to admit that he had quit the band. The band -- the only thing he'd ever have to look forward to.

"You're home early, honey," Judy Mooneyham greeted her son cheerfully as he stomped into the house, slamming the door behind him. He ignored his mother and head up stairs.

Zack started to go to his room by stopped by Billie door. He might as well tell her what had happened. He pushed open the door without knocking, Billie had already showed before that she didn't care much for knocking on his door -- so why would she expect it?

Zack stopped at the sight. Billie and Freddy were snuggled together underneath the covers. They were doing nothing, of course -- they weren't like that. But it was still quite a scene. As he stared -- Billie snuggled her head against the crook in Freddy's neck…it look sorta cozy. Which Zack realize that he…still was single. He backed away, switching off the light and closing the door quietly behind him.


	8. What it's like

Sorry about the confusion I may have caused last chapter -- Zack gave Frankie his guitar -- but he was using Dewey's guitar. So -- y'know, he wouldn't have brought it home anyway. I was thinking about adding that in -- but…I couldn't really make it sound…I dunno -- good. Thanks for the reviews. It helps me -- tons and tons.

The title is from a certain fabulous ex rapper, but the quote below it's from a fabulous rock/rap group -- guess who? Hmm hmm?

Y'know…I was gonna type something here…but I forgot what it was -- so…this'll have to do I guess…attribution to -- 21 Jump Street, the greatest (not only cop but also) 80's tv series EVER!!!…and here is a quote from our own and favorite -- Johnny Depp(!!!) -- never mind. As it turns out…I don't actually have a quote from him…so…a dialogue including Johnny Depp'll have to do.

_Ioki: Look at this -- kids are taking it seriously_

_Hanson: (looks Ioki up and down) New shirt Harry?_

_Ioki: What? This old thing?_

_Penhall: The way to go is act naturally. _

Ioki is Harry, in case you didn't get that. And Johnny Depp is Hanson. It's from an episode from the first season -- 13 blown to 35. Don't rush out to buy the dvd -- you might not like it -- but I do...and since I'm the greatest advertiser ever…On with the show! (expect to get dialogue or quotes every chapter from now on -- all from 21 jump street)

_**What it's like**_

_I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand_

_Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is_

_I can't add up to what you can_

_But everybody has a face that they hold inside_

_A face that awakes when they close their eyes_

_A face that watches every time they lie_

_A face that laughs every time they fall_

_So you know when it's time to sink or swim_

_The cries were far louder than they should be. Billie opened her eyes slowly, looking around for the source of the sound. She rose from the seat she had been sleeping in and began to slowly walk out of her room. It was an olden room, one made of wood -- white wooden floors -- white wooden walls…white wooden ceiling. Such a small room -- such an unfamiliar room. Billie entered the hall way, staring down the hall before walking down the stairs. She some how glided over to the far door, slowly pushing it open. The crying had gotten amazingly louder._

_There was a mass of people, all surrounding a coffin. Billie slowly glided into the room, stopping beside the closest stranger to her. She didn't have to ask, she didn't have to say a thing. The echoes were every where -- the echoes of what had been done. The stranger turned to Billie knowingly. "Somebody shot Judy Rebelle," the stranger gasped. But Judy had been dead for over an hour, and they all still treated it like a shock._

_Billie slowly phased through the crowd, stopping beside the open casket. Judy's face was as white as a clean sheet. There was a single clean hole in the front of her forehead -- but the blood had long since stopped flowing. Billie stared down silently at her dead mother. Someone had placed a picture in the coffin. It was hardly obvious, but once you looked long and hard enough, you could make out who was in the picture without having to actually touch the body. Doug Rebelle. It was an old photograph of him when he was in his teen years, when he wasn't a killer. _

Billie awoke with a jerk. She was covered in sweat (I know I know…it's not exactly original), but at least she was back in her room. Billie looked around quickly, before the memories of the earlier day came rushing back. She looked down and realized Freddy wasn't there.

Billie ran a shaky hand through her hair and collapsed back down onto the bed. She looked over at the digital alarm clock on her bedside table. 3:24. She sighed loudly, clenching her eyes closed. Sleep used to take her away. It used to be her escape from this mad mad world (now who sings that song…hmm hmm). Dreams were delightful -- they were welcomed. But now…lately…all her dreams have been doing is keeping her awake within her sleep. Killing her and yet still forcing her to remain a part of the living. She couldn't stop it, and she couldn't seem to get around it.

Billie snapped open her eyes. When had Freddy left? Billie naturally was a VERY light sleeper. Her father liked to come during the night; he used to give Billie the first hit while she was asleep. He liked the way she reacted. By the age of twelve, Billie had learned how to wake herself up at the slightest sound, touch or vibration. Her father was pretty good at walking like a shadow -- but even the slickest moves still send off vibrations. Newly added mass messes up the vibration the room had had before that addition. Why hadn't she noticed Freddy's movement? Billie had woken up earlier that night, around midnight, and Freddy was still snuggled against her in a deep sleep. He couldn't be stupid enough to leave that late. It was past curfew…there were psychos roaming the streets…

Billie, now fully awake, slipped off of her soft bed and eyed her room. It was stupid sure, but she still couldn't be sure if he was or was not in her room. Despite how much she blinked, all she could see was the wooden walls. The wooden floors and the wooden ceiling. And then there was the coffin. Her mothers faceless face.

Billie went to take a step back, but stumbled instead. She stumbled into a strong force, nearly knocking herself to the ground…but she was in the middle of the room. Billie turned around sharply. "Oh god, Freddy," Billie gasped, breathing heavily. She threw her arms around Freddy's neck and hugged him tightly.

Freddy wasn't quite sure what to do now. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, giving her a hug back. "What happened?" he asked in a whisper, breathing into her flawless hair. "What's the matter?"

Billie shook her head. "I saw my mother's dead body," Billie whispered in his ear, still holding him in a death grip. "I saw her emotionless face."

It took him a moment. But soon Freddy realized that what Billie really saw was nothing more than a dream. "It was just a nightmare, Billie. A dream. Nothing more."

Billie shook her head, letting go of Freddy and taking a step back to look at him. "The mind's unpredictable, Jones, but we don't have certain dreams for no reason. We're like robots, except we don't know what our capability really is. We know our past, our present and even our future. But we're unaware of it. And when we dream, our unconscious sometimes gets the upper hand and attempts to warn us of what is bound to come to past." Freddy raised an eyebrow. "Lincoln dreamt about his death, Freddy. He had a dream just a mere few days before he died."

"Billie," Freddy started, soothingly. "Lots of people dream about death, not all of them come true. Not all of them are predicted."

Billie stared at Freddy for a long time. Before long, Freddy was sure he had some something wrong. "You're right," Billie finally said in a serious tone.

Freddy was the one this time to look at Billie long and hard. From his experience it was excruciatingly difficult to change Billie's mind, there was no way he could have done it so fast. So easily. "No, I'm not," he argued defensively.

Billie nodded before turning and trotting over to her bed. "Indeed, you very well may not be. But only time can tell. For all we know all I had was just a dream. But then again -- just because we're unaware of its significance doesn't make it any less of what it is already." She dropped down onto her bed, pulling her legs onto it, to sit Indian style. She then turned her attention back to him. "Wait, what are you doing up?"

Freddy shrugged. It was a casual expression, and it was carried out quite casually. And perhaps even our blind eyes would have missed it. Perhaps it was quite well that we wouldn't have noticed a single thing out of place. But there was something out of place. Something large, indeed. "Had to go to the bathroom," he finally answered.

Billie nodded, ready to accept his excuse with out a hesitation, except… "I was facing the bathroom," Billie said passively, as if it were just an after thought.

Freddy stared at her for a moment. "Look, Billie, I --"

"It's alright," Billie interrupted. "You planning on going back to sleep?" She asked quietly.

Freddy shook his head. "I don't think I'd be able to…fall back to sleep."

Billie rose from her bed again. "How bout we see a movie," Billie suggested. Freddy shrugged. He'd seen Billie's impressing collection of movies, and he liked most of it. But then again, there were a few movies that was…well, in the least -- just chick flicks. But then again, she was a girl after all, she was bound to act like one sooner or later.

Billie had let Freddy choose a movie, either from her vague collection, or from Zack's and led him down to the basement. Freddy had never been to the basement of Zack's house before, and surprised at what was to be found there. It was huge, to begin with, but there were various comfy couches and a wide screen television set. Most people in this area had much more than this, of course, but ever since Freddy's father had…passed away, his family had been slowly going down hill.

Freddy dropped down onto a couch, and threw his feet up on the table in front of the couch as Billie went to put in the movie. "Hey, how come you don't have any girlfriends." Billie turned to give Freddy a look. "I mean friends that are girls…heh…of course…"

"Well you see, Jones," Billie began. "I don't really like many females that attend Horace Green. Sure, haven't really met all of 'em, but the ones I have met are judgmental and hypocritical. I don't intend to associate myself with stuck ups such as thus."

"You've never had any girlfriends before?" Freddy asked, eyeing Billie's back.

Billie shook her head, before grabbing the dvd controller and trotting over to the couch to sit beside Freddy. "Of course I have," she finally answered. "Well, not a whole lot. But a few. And they were great and all. But remember, I moved. I'm still a little new at your school. These 'friends' I used to have, I've known them since kindergarten. That's like what, eleven years? (they're sophomores). I don't think I'm gonna be able to build relationships like those in a few months with people like the people at Horace Green."

Freddy nodded. He'd noticed it to. Horace Green was a rather expensive school. And the people there, besides the band and a few other students, expected their friends to be just as rich as them. Freddy hadn't really gained many friends, he was a wild child, they sort of stayed away from that type. But there were good souls in Horace Green as well. Such as Zack.

That's the end of the chapter. The next one will introduce a few 'girl friends' for Billie to bond with. But now -- here's a quote from…(drum roll please) 21 jump street!

_Hanson: She offered me 1700 dollars to murder her father._

_Penhall: What? She asked you to participate in a special circumstances class A felony murder…of her father? I'm telling fuller!_

_Hanson: Now wait a second you said you were my friend!_

Great great scene. Hot hot actor. - It's after a gurl asked Hanson to murder her father because he was undercover. Episode -- Blindsided. They soon realize that the girl asked simply because her father sexually abused her and she'd called for help from cops before but they ignored her because her father was a highly respected police officer. That all ends when…Officer Hanson gets involved!

Doug Penhall -- is Peter Deluise, the director of Stargate…something something. It's a good actor…I'll update as soon as possible. In fact I'm starting on the next chapter right now.


	9. Super size me, biatch!

Thank you for the review smiles4100. Thanks for the advice, I was thinking about adding a female companion for Billie too, but wasn't quite sure how to do it -- but this chapter will tell the tale. Also -- my apologies for not including zack in the last chapter -- and other characters in the chapters before. But the last chapter was clearly early in the morning and…well…Zack was asleep…or was he? (dun dun dunnnn)

Thanks for the reviews, everyone. I always hated reviewing -- and I don't quite know why. But I only reviewed for the greatest stories ever. -- and I'd only read more than the first chapter for the greatest stories ever. Thanks for reading and reviewing -- even tho this story isn't the greatest.

This is the second annual 21 jump street Quote. Now this one isn't from the first season, it's one I've read online so I'm not sure if this is exactly true -- but I like it -- so I'm gonna put it here anyways.

_Hanson: (on about Penhall's mother's suicide) She killed herself on anti-depressants? What was that like? HAHAHAHAHAH - BANG!?_

On with the show! ALSO -- you know they get screen captures. Their own. Like from the television onto the computer -- then email me -- tell me! At or in a review. Thinking bout making a 21 jump street website…

Supersize Me

_How do you expect I will know what to do_

_When all I do is what you tell me to_

---Pulp Fiction--

Bruce Willis's character: You know that sting, big boy? That's pride fucking with you.

Other character: I'm gonna kill

Bruce Willis's character: Somebody's gonna get killed, alright!

---Pulp Fiction--

Other guy: I'mma get mideval on your ass (greatest line EVER!!)

--Pulp Fiction--

Gurl: Are you hurt?

Bruce Willis's character: No. I might've broken my nose. It's no biggie. C'mon, we gotta get the fuck out of town. C'mon, let's go!

--Pulp Fiction--

Guy that just busted in: Die you mother fuckers!!! (starts shooting. Runs out of bullets. Samual L Jackson and John Travolta's characters look around them, at the walls and on the ground -- he missed them. They both draw guns and shot him.)

---Pulp Fiction--

Samual L Jackson: We should be dead now! What just happened was a fuckin miracle and I want you to acknowledge it!

--Pulp Fiction--

John Travolta - Marvin. Do you think God came down or -- (gun goes off. He looks shocked) Ah man -- I shot Marvin in the head.

Samual L Jackson: What the fuck did you do that for!

John Travolta: Well I didn't mean to! You must've went over a bump or something…

--Pulp Fiction--

Billie looked over at the clock on the wall. 9:47. Billie was right, she hadn't been able to get an ounce of sleep. But at least Freddy had. He hadn't wanted to at first but Billie encouraged him to let his body reenergize. She had 'made' him lay down on their couch, and let him put his head in her lap (nothing dirty) and she had stroked his forehead and had ran her hands through his hair idly, watching the movie Freddy had picked out. Pulp Fiction. (I've never actually 'seen' that movie but….I hear it's pretty good…so sorry if it doesn't seem like one that Freddy would actually like…) A movie out of Billie's collection. (sorry about the movie, if you hate it -- but it's on now…and I'm watching it…and I couldn't think of a damn movie…some dude just hit some dude with a car then got hit by a car…it's actually not looking all that bad…some chick got shot in the leg…On with the story…)

Billie had heard Zack's parents awake a few hours ago -- more than likely to get all ready for work -- and Billie just had to thank god (even though she weren't religious) that Zack's parents respected Billie's privacy like it were a king. She wasn't sure, but she was pretty sure that Zack wasn't up yet. He wasn't usually a heavy or late sleep -- unless something was bothering him. Then he slept every chance he got.

"Billie!" Billie looked straight up at the ceiling at Zack's mother's voice. (Did I give her a name?…I dunno, I'mma have to look…didn't see one…sooo) Billie slowly started to rise from the couch, lifting Freddy's head up with gentle fingers, and softly putting it back down on the couch when she was off of it.

She grabbed a cover off of a spare chair and spread it over him, tucking him in slightly. She sprinted toward the steps. "Coming!" She shouted half way up. She walked from the kitchen to the living room, where her 'guardian' -- Janie -- was sitting on the couch.

(Alright this is the greatest show ever -- It's now one of Freddy Jones' favorite shows ever…go watch it…well not now. Finish reading this chapter now…but go get the tape like right after you read this.) Janie turned around to look at Billie. "What are you doing down there?"

Billie shrugged, dropping down on the couch. "Masturbating. It's easier downstairs -- that TV gets playboy."

Janie gave Billie an evil look. "Your friend is on the phone."

Billie eyed the phone. "Friend? I've got no friends, Janie. You know that. This isn't something to just…joke about! It's traumatic man!"

Janie glared at Billie's humor. "Some girl, I didn't think you've ever talked to girls…but some girl who claims to be Sara is on the phone. She's been waiting for like…two minutes."

Billie hopped to her feet. "Oh, alright then." She headed toward the phone. "Hey, do you work today?"

Janie nodded motherly (or so they say. My mommy don't really…act motherly but this…tv…so they have to…or else it'd be like against the law). "Yeah. I'm sorry to be leaving you alone here, honey, with Stefan and Joan (Stefan's sister…haven't introduced her YET), but I have to go in early, we're short a few people. Johnny already headed off to work, but you were probably asleep then." (Johnny's Zack's father's new name…incase you didn't get that)

By the time Janie finished Billie had already taken up the phone, and now was staring at the table the phone had rested on as if it had just committed a murder. "What?" Billie snapped shortly, after Janie had left the room. "How the fuck did that happen? Ohhh…she was shot…uh huh…well that explains a lot…Sure, come over whenever. Grieving is what I do best. Sure, bring Justin too. We all love him here. But please…PLEASE you better not fuckin' bring those whores you tend to associate yourself with here. Alright. You can have my bed…Justin too…I guess asking Janie would be required."

Janie walked back into the room. Billie lifted the mouthpiece away from her mouth. "Hey Janie, Sara's mother had…an accident. She's unsupervised, would you like…I dunno…mind if she and her boyfriend crashes here?"

"Why doesn't she just movie in with her boyfriend?" Janie asked accusingly. "I'm not a group home, dear."

"I know that," Billie said lightly. "But, her boyfriend has no place, Jane. He was living with her and her mom. And now, they've got no place to go. Well…except for her brother but…he's not the richest man alive…"

Janie took a few (billion) minutes to think about it. "Alright, how long?"

Billie gave her a compassionate look. "…as long as I'm here…" Janie opened her mouth. "Please, Janie, Please!" Billie started, holding the phone in both hands. "They're mature, she's 15 and he's 17. They act like it…most of the time. And we can share a room -- there's a spare bed in the closet and…there's a floor that's nearly as big as the room. It's not like you guys can't afford it…" Billie gave her a sweet, can't-resist smile.

Janie made an angry face. "Oh alright! But they better not be a bunch of trouble makers, Billie-anne."

Billie shook her head assuringly. "C'mon now, you know I don't associate myself with those kinds of people." Billie moved the phone back to her ear and mouth.

Janie headed for the door. "Hmm I don't know, you seem to be clinging to that Jones boy." She was out the door before Billie could reply.

"You're on your way," Billie said into the receiver slowly. "Now how the hell did you know Janie would let you? You're too damn cocky, that's what's wrong with you. Door's unlock, just walk in when you get here. Janie and Johnny's out. All's that's here is Zack and Freddy and those two queers Zack claim to be his cousins. Bye…stay away from guns, hun…" Billie hung up the phone.

Sara's mother had been shot, and the 'government' had tossed her and her boyfriend out of the house. It was depressing really. Billie had actually liked Sara's mom. The first time Billie had ever spent the night over at Sara's house, she stayed up passed midnight talking to her mother. Her mother -- April -- had unloaded all of her problems onto Billie -- How Sara's abusive father had been, how good Walt -- her new boyfriend -- was. It was sorta sweet. Then Justin came back from where ever he had gone and woke Sara up, and the three of them walked to Denny's Doughnuts at 3 in the morning. It was a good time…but now April was dead and that time was never going to come back…never ever.

There were soft foot steps on the stairs -- and it took few seconds for Billie to guess who was awake. Stefan. That girl. Stefan was in the living room in a matter of seconds. "What's the matter with you?" Stefan asked, walking over to Billie -- who now sat on a couch, with her legs drawn up close.

Billie shook her head. She hated Stefan, he hated her. He thought himself to be far better and smarter than anyone -- and that is what made him worst and stupider than anybody she had ever known. Joan wasn't much better -- or ANY smarter. "Nothing," she mumbled solemnly.

Stefan started to say something else -- but Billie REALLY wasn't in the mood to hear it. "Stefan," she snapped. "Just go read a goddamn book or something."

Stefan gave her an appalled (probably not spelt right -- but it's not an incorrect word…if that makes sense at all…) look. "Watch your filthy mouth, how dear you use god Almighty's name in vain," he snapped.

"He like's being called Jehovah, Steph," Billie stated uninterestedly. "And it's easy, buddy," she added. "Have you ever thought that just MAYBE not everybody here's a Christian? Majority of people aren't Christians, pal." Billie rose from her seat and headed for the door to the basement when the front door flew open. She turned to see who it was.

Stefan stared in horror as the two people walking in. "Robbers!" He shouted, getting ready to act.

Billie almost laughed as she walked back into the room. "Chill, Ferguson. This is Sara and Justin. Guys, this is Zack's dweeby cousin, Stefan-e." Billie trotted over to her friends and gave Sara a long hug. She could tell that Sara had been crying recently and she was pretty sure that maybe even Justin had been as well. He was pretty close to April, and even treated her like his own mother.

"Are you guys tired, or…hungry…or…dirty? Need a shower or something?" Billie asked sweetly, eyeing Justin and Sara up and down. Sara had on a pair of blue jean flares with a brown Harry Potter shirt -- that said Muggle in large orange print -- it didn't quite reached the top of her jeans -- but still went past her belly button. Her light, straight brown hair was about an inch longer than Billie had remembered it to be -- stopping a little bit past her shoulders. Her cheeks and eyes were red -- it was quite a sad sight.

Justin wore a pair of dark blue -- baggy -- jeans with a OzzFest shirt on. He was wearing his jacket -- yet still carrying Sara's. He was holding two shirt cases -- and had on his back pack. Sara was holding one suitcase and had on her backpack.

Billie stepped forward and took a suit case from Justin's hands and headed upstairs. "I'll show you to my room," she called over her shoulder. It was that much of a walk, so they didn't exactly 'talk'. She pushed open her room's door and walked a few feet into her room before setting Justin's (…well…it was probably actually Sara's but…) suitcase down onto the floor in front of her closet's door. "Just set your stuff…wherever. If that bed's not big enough there's a bigger one in the closet that I can pull out. If ya'll want some privacy -- I can sleep in the basement, it's not that bad. It's kind of homey."

Justin nodded, telling Billie clearly that -- he -- wanted more time alone at night. But Sara shook her head. "Nah, you don't have to, Billie. This is your room." Justin's face dropped as he stared weirdly down at Sara's head, who stood in front of her.

Billie laughed quietly. "It's cool, Stale-crackers (Sara's last name's Staley…) ya'll can have the room…if it's big enough of course…" Both Justin and Sara laughed at this. "The remote's on that table." She nodded to it. "It's cable but it also has an awful lot of movie channels. There's covers and shit in the closet -- if you need them. Stereo's over there," another nod, "my collection's over there," …another nod… "listen to whatever. It's clearly not as good as your collection…but then again, you are my inspiration, Sara Stale-crackers."

"Um…alright," Sara said aimlessly. "Are you leaving?" She asked as Billie headed for the door.

"Yes," Billie answered honestly. Sara opened her mouth to argue. "You're tired Sara. It'll feel better in the morning." It is the morning… "You need rest, Sara…Justin. You guys must've been traveling for hours. The bathroom's through that door." She nodded again -- this time toward the white door. "Do whatever you want…BUT(!) lock the damn door. And…be quiet about it…there are…sleeping residents in this house."

Justin put together his hands softly, and thanked Billie silently -- as if she were a god. Billie nodded to him, then to Sara and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. Typical Justin.

Well…now there's that chapter…I know it sucked. -- but I had to introduce Sara and Justin -- based them off my friends…heh…so this is actually how my friends act…

Known Sara since K -- met Justin in Freshman year…so…this goes for Billie. Justin really lived with Sara but April isn't dead…certainly fiction…

Here's the 21 jump street quote. Sorry for those pulp fiction quotes -- but they were hilarious! I love that show now….it's some funny shit…if you want some 21 jump street photos go to -- http:legolas.virtue.nu/21/21JS.html or they're all basically of johnny depp… but if you want some -- go to those. Or email me -- I'll email you some photos…on with the quotes NOW!!!

_Lansing: Another stupid new kid_

_Hanson: Fine. I can see I'mma have to put this in terms for you to understand. That's my step brother, Douglass He's kinda lame -- but that's not his fault. You kick his ass, he tells my step dad, and my step dad kicks my ass. Then I'mma have to come back here and kick _**your **_ass._

-- in the dvd and FX version I think -- the word ass was dubbed over with tail…sucks ass man! But it's a great part…great great!!! Hanson was undercover…hot hot hot…enjoy. I'mma be working double time to get the next chapter -- I just had to introduce Sara and Justin…and conclude what was going on with Billie and Freddy.

Thanks again for the reviews -- and just to clear it up -- Billie slits her wrist with a safety pin…alrighty? Sorry if you didn't know what I hinted at WAS Billie's wrist slitting ness…but she does it…she's addicted man…it's awful!

I have this dude who thinks he's so much better than me…named Stefan…yuck…and…I just don't like the name joan…no offense if either of those are your names…name's nothing but…letters stringed together aimlessly. Soul's what counts. Soul's what you can control wink…wink...


	10. To Live is to Die

Thanks for the reviews. Sorry for the confusion -- I promise this chapter will involve the rest of the characters -- and more of a plot. The weekend's over -- so they'll be back at school -- and the band will just…like totally clash. It'd be great fun. So -- enjoy.

21 jump street quote --

_Jake: (Ducks Mr. Carter's head in a fish tank)_

_Hanson: (to Jake) What is wrong with you ?(tries to pull the guy's head out, glaring at Jake)_

Got my poems from -- and and and http:violetsareblue.info/

To live is to die

_See him on the TV_

_Preachin bout the promise lands_

_He Tells me to believe in Jesus!_

_And steals the money from my hands_

_Some say he was a good man_

_But lord I think he sinned_

Janie had made a few requirements in order for Justin and Sara to continue to live under her roof. She had managed to enroll them in Horace Green, even if it was in the middle of a semester. Her rules were: no drugs, do good in school, no violence, and no smarting off to Janie, or any other resident in the household. Sara, clearly, would have no problem with these rules. Sure, she got a little hyper and excited at times, but she was a good child -- no doubt about it. Sure she cussed, but that was basically ALL she did.

Justin…however…well actually, he had managed to quit the pot, man…Sara made him -- it was a requirement that she had came up with in order for him to live underneath her mother's roof. He still smoked a cigarette occasionally. He flunked Freshman year once and had been expelled last year. He technically was still a freshman -- but was able to handle sophomore and junior classes. Sara also had pressured him into getting acceptable grades -- Cs and Ds. But violence? Oh c'mon! He fought often, and Sara never actually seemed to have a problem with it. And he had been able to not smart off to April, or Chris - Sara's older brother -, so he was pretty sure he'd be able to handle it again. This lady sure was asking a lot.

"The speech will be next Thursday." Mr. Skuttle turned around, turning his back on the chalkboard. "I'm terribly sorry Miss Staley, and Mr. O'Connor for giving the two of you such a short deadline to meet, but this speech is worth half of your grades, and we just must get it in before quarter grades."

Skuttle picked two sheets of papers from his desk and slowly passed them out to Justin and Sara. "Surely you students had speech at your old school, and surely you know what the requirements are. The speech will be about someone you believe had a POSITIVE impact on our society. It can be a famous person or someone you know personally. However, you must identify why you believe them to have had such a positive impact on our society. I've just handed you the rubric, so I expect you both to get as good of a grade in here as any other student will." Skuttle looked down the rows to glare at a sleeping form of Freddy Jones. "Except for Mr. Jones."

Sara and Justin turned around in their seats to look back at Freddy. Billie didn't look up, she had already noticed it, and was inches away from sleep herself. Zack, who shared the table with Freddy didn't respond either.

"What on Earth is going on here?" Skuttle raged, stopping in front of Zack's table. Freddy didn't stir, but he tensed, telling plainly that he was indeed awake. For now, that is.

"It's Jones being the idiot he is," Summer muttered to the girls surrounding her table. They all giggled with delight of having Summer include them into something. Zack raised his head up to glare at Summer who was looking in his general direction. Summer had been like this for the past few days. She had silently waged her own little war on Zack and Freddy for leaving the band. It was getting a little old.

Skuttle slammed his yard stick down onto the desk between Zack and Freddy, making Zack jump a little bit. Freddy raised his head to look at Skuttle. Freddy lifted a hand tiredly to rub his eyes. "Morning already?"

Zack and Billie cracked a grin, as a few murmurs of laughter went around the room. Skuttle, however, was doing neither. "Get up," Skuttle growled quietly. Freddy hesitated, but in the end, he slowly rose from his seat. Skuttle stepped forward and seized Freddy's upper arm, ignoring the wince and quick in take of breath Freddy tried to hide. The teacher had expected this from Freddy. But Zack and Billie knew there was a much deeper meaning to the boy's reactions.

A quiet gasp went throughout the room as Skuttle dragged Freddy to the front of the classroom and out the door, slamming it hard behind him. Billie and Zack exchanged looks, while Summer's smile spread. She rose from her seat. "Well, class," she began rudely. "As you can see, Jones is getting what he deserves for being such a selfish brat. Let this be a lesson for the rest of you, hoodlums," Summer finished, looking directly at Zack.

"And what do you call yourself?" a female voice began. All heads turned to the new girl. "You're not a trouble maker…yet you're still a bitch," Sara said slowly, rising to her feet. "Why don't you try to show a little concern instead of sucking in everybody's pain?"

Sara took a step toward Summer. Summer glared at her. Who was this girl? Summer took a step forward, so people wouldn't think any less of her. "You must not know who you're talking to," Summer spat.

Sara nodded slowly. "Well, I'm new, I couldn't have known," she said quietly.

"Well if you wanna get old, you better start learning," Summer shot back angrily, taking another step forward. The class was on their feet by now, starting to form around the two rivaling girls. Justin remained seated, and now Zack was standing beside him, and Billie sat on his desk, resting her feet on the chair he still sat on. (On the side -- he's turned around…so it's not like it's in between his legs…)

Sara let out a short laugh. "Ohhhh," she groaned loudly. "A threat from a teacher's pet! I'm so scared!" Sara took another step closer and muttered quietly to Summer, "Guess if I spoke animal I'd probably be scared - er, huh?"

Summer shook her head. "Nah, if I spoke poor, you'd probably understand better."

This statement didn't only offend Sara…it offended everyone she associated herself with!… "Well done Hatheway!" Billie cut in with a loud cheerful voice. All heads turned toward her. "You have just instigated your own mugging! Please come on down!" Billie said all this in that fake talk show host voice. She now jump to her feet and lurched forward, so she was now in the circle.

"Alright," Justin muttered to Zack. "Cat fight." He paused. "Now all we need is some mud," he added. Zack cracked a grin and shook his head sadly.

Before anything else could happen, however, the door snapped open. Justin's disappointed groan echoed around the room. "What is going on here?" All of the heads innocently turned toward Skuttle before the students started moving back to their seats.

Billie and Sara shared a look. "Nothing, sir," Billie answered delightfully. "We just figured that since Freddy Jones had interrupted our learning process, we'd occupy our time wisely with a poetry session, while you had that much needed talk with the boy." Zack had began to return to his seat while Sara dropped down into hers, beside her lover.

"Is that so?" Skuttle looked around the classroom, and received nodding heads. "Well done then," he added cheerfully now. "I'll have to give you all extra credit."

Billie turned around to return back to the back row, smiling to herself. "Uh, just a second, Miss Rebelle," Skuttle interrupted her congratulations. Billie turned back around to face him with a serious look. "Would you mind sharing some of your poetic talent with me?"

Billie swallowed hard. "Um…uh…well…of course…I'd love to…" Billie looked up then down before settling her gaze on Sara. Sara moved her eyes oddly, Justin giving her a weird look for it. Billie swiftly moved her gaze back to Skuttle. "But…mine are a little mean…a lot of teenage angst…y'know…" Skuttle made a gesture, telling Billie to get on with it. "Alright then…can't say I never warned you." She cleared her throat, glaring at the grin Sara had cracked. "Roses are red, violets are blue -- god made me pretty, what happened to you?" Billie looked at Skuttle's utter amazement in vain. "Roses are red, violets are blue, trash got dumped, and so have you."

Billie paused, eyeing Skuttle. "Have you got anymore?" he asked darkly.

"Billions more," Sara answered for Billie. Billie glared at her best friend.

"Then continue on with them," Skuttle growled.

Billie shrugged. "Alright. Roses are red, violets are black, go to hell, and never come back." There was another murmur of laughter around the classroom before it returned back to silence. "Roses are red, violets are blue, and a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Roses are red, violets are blue, what will it take TO get rid of you?!!" Skuttle's face was growing redder. "Roses are dead, violets are dying, so bitch get over it! And stop your fucking crying." Billie looked down before continuing. "East to the sea, west to the land, death to the bitch that touches my man." Louder laughter this time. "If you need a nickel, I'll give you a dime, if you need man…bitch don't fuck with mine…"

Billie opened her mouth to spur out another crude one. "Alright!" Skuttle snapped. "That's enough!" The laughter came to a sudden halt. "Don't you have any NICE poems, Rebelle?"

Billie shrugged. "Sure. But they're not as annoying…"

"Please share them then," Skuttle ordered.

Billie shrugged. "Roses are red, and dogs like to drool. Don't do drugs, and stay in school," Billie began in a solemn voice. "Roses are black, violets are gray. Storms of fire ruin my day. Lightning of darkness make me cry as I slowly begin to die."

Billie looked back at Sara, who nudged Justin. Justin cleared his throat, before turning his attention to Summer. "Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest -- as flat as your back?"

Summer emitted a loud gasp and the class emitted loud laughter. "Roses are red, violets are gold, why wear a bra -- with nothing to hold!" Justin grinned widely. He never spent time making up poems -- and was proud at how well he had done.

Zack felt artistic now and decided to join in. "Roses are red. Violets are blue. Love stinks and so do you." Summer glared at him with all her heart.

Silence filled the class room again before -- "Roses are wilting, violets are dead, sugar is lumpy, and so is your head." It was Marta's voice, and it -- surprisingly, was directed toward the teacher.

"ENOUGH!" Skuttle shouted angrily. The class once again filled with nervous silence. "You, you, you and you, you're coming with me! Now!" Billie, Justin, Marta and Summer followed Skuttle out of the room.

Skuttle slammed the class room door shut for a second time before rounding on the four students so fast, it was a wonder he wasn't on the track team. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Skuttle hissed toward Billie. Billie opened her mouth to say something…but -- "How dare you insult me like that?"

"It wasn't my fault!" Billie snapped defensively. "You told me to share my poems with you…and guess what? That's exactly what I did! Don't get pissed because I acted how I was taught to act. You tell me what to do and…I do what I'm told! Don't hate the player man, hate YOUR game."

Skuttle's hand shot out and connected with Billie's cheek. Billie's head snapped to the side, and she stumbled slightly. Billie jerked her head up right to glare at her teacher. "Hey man." Justin had lurched forward.

Billie grabbed his arm, pulling him back. "Chill. It's nothing, O'Connor." She shoved him back, and he let her -- shove him back into the wall.

"You're not permitted to hit students," Summer pointed out, glaring evilly at her teacher. "I'm telling!"

Skuttle eyed Summer. "Oh really?" He asked harshly.

Justin shook his head, sniffing the air. "Dude, are you drunk?" He paused, before adding in a surfer-dude voice, "No way."

Skuttle ignored Justin. "You!" He threw a finger at Billie. "Are suspended!" Billie opened her mouth to argue. "Say another word and I'll up it to expulsion." Billie slowly closed her mouth. "And you!" He directed his finger at Justin now. "Four month's detention." Justin looked down at Billie, and when she looked up at him, he shrugged. "You two." He pointed at Marta and Summer. "Your grade for my class will fall down two letter grades. That's a C for you Summer. And a D for you Marta. Now get your asses down to the headmaster," he barked before storming back into his classroom.

Summer rounded on Billie. "I…I! I have a C! This is all your fault!" Summer shouted loudly.

Billie honestly didn't know what to do. "Suspension here is two weeks," she said to herself. "Miss a speech, no make up. Great. So now I'm gonna flunk speech." She walked off, leaving Summer behind her, and headed off to the principle's office.

Justin wrapped an arm around Summer's shoulders. "C'mon, Sum, lighten up a little hmm? You're as tight as a sailor's ass during inspection."

Summer glared up at him. "I'm as light as a feather," she snapped -- before storming off after Billie.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

END OF CHAPTER

_over getting a note_

_Lam: Read it out loud_

_Hanson: (Clears throat) Dear tom. I hope you're enjoying Mr. Lam's lecture on diagramming sentences as much as I am. If you need any study help I'll be glad --_

_teacher snatches note from him._

_Lam: Hi. My name is Wendy and I love to party. I'll meet you after school. If you have a car - just tell me where it is at. Oh brilliantly written, Miss Biros. But in my classroom we like to refrain from ending a sentence with a preposition. If you have a car just tell me where it is at. Help her out Mr. Burroughs._

_Hanson: Okay it's in the student lot. A blue 68 mustang. class erupts in laughter - drowning out the rest of his sentence_

_Lam: With a prepositional part at the end of a sentence, genius. Example - because you're new here at school, if you were to ask where the cafeteria is at, how would ask it properly._

_Hanson: Where's the cafeteria at…Schmo?_

That's the second set of quotes in this chapter. Sorry for the delay -- I…well you see my sister got that stupid sims game and…it's not the worst. Plus there was a bit of writers block mixed in there. Sorry if it's not the greatest chapter. This one obviously had Summer and Marta in it. And I'm sorry -- I'm not poetic -- so I had to use other people's poems. But I did give them credit. I Will NEVER write any poems…because I SERIOUSLY suck at em. But if you wanna you can send me some poems…hint hint…and I'll try to work em into the story.


	11. Every Rose has its thorn

Every rose has its thorn

Every Rose has its thorn.

Just like every night has its dawn

Every cowboy sings a sad sad song.

Every Rose has its thorn

"I'm sorry honey! But you gave them pacific rules and they deliberately disobeyed them." (I'm not sure if I've ever given Zack's father a name…so its John…please correct me if I already have.) John was trying desperately to remain calm. "They're nothing but a bunch of delinquents, and they never were any thing more," John replied quietly.

"He's right." Both John and Janie looked up, toward the kitchen's entrance -- and there Justin O'Connor was -- leaning against the door frame with an empty glass in his hand -- his arms crossed. "The moment we walked in you closed your eyes, Mrs. Mooneyham. We're not complicated people. You guys judged us, sure. But you judged us correctly. I am a delinquent, I've been arrested 47 times within the last five years. I've been busted for pot, drugs, alcohol. I've been expelled and never really was all that attached to education. But while you, Mr. Mooneyham was too busy judging you evidently never bothered to realize we're trying. I don't do pot, I haven't had an ounce of alcohol since I've stepped foot in here…and Sara stole my cigarettes and hid them. Me and Sara hasn't been doing anything at night. And that tid bit in the classroom was not deliberate."

"Uh…We're in the middle of a discussion," John began, gesturing from Janie to himself.

"Oh, I know," Justin replied casually. "I just came for a glass of water…well Sara sent me for a glass of water…" He lifted up his glass. "Just thought I'd pull out my thoughts on the table for you folks."

Justin opened his mouth -- apparently to say something more but he was cut short. Freddy had rushed into the kitchen, stumbling into Justin rather roughly. He breezed past him without so much as a word of apology and headed for the sink, a dirty hand covering a patch on his forehead, just above the right eye.

"Hey, young man," John began angrily at Freddy. Freddy hurriedly turned on the faucet. "Did you not see this man standing here?" He gestured toward Justin -- but Freddy didn't look back as he wiped a hand over his forehead and sank the hand underneath the water. "Do you have no manners?"

"Oh dear, Freddy?" Janie stepped forward. "What happened dear?" She put a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder, and attempted to get him to show her his rather deep cut.

"Sorry," Freddy mumbled. "The sink upstairs broke again."

"Oh yeah -- that was my bad," Justin broadcasted loudly. John turned around to eye him wildly. "You know what? I think Sara can just drink some bath water. I'll be…out there…" He hurriedly set his g lass down on a table and hustled out the room.

"How did you cut yourself, Freddy?" Janie asked concernedly, rubbing Freddy's back soothingly.

"Skateboarding," Freddy answered casually. "I was skateboarding here. Hit this huge rock and totally thrashed my board."

"Well where's your helmet, Freddy? Where are your pads, boy?" John asked loudly. There was no concern in his voice, just mockery. Freddy glared at his bloody hand -- John reminded him so much of Josh it made him sick.

"Helmet? Pads?" Freddy repeated. He gave short, forced chuckle. "What are those?" John glared at Freddy's back. "But don't worry, bout me, Mrs. Mooneyham, it's no trouble. I've thrashed my boards millions of times before."

"Oh honey." Janie rubbed his back again. "Well if you need any help, just tell me, I'll be glad to help you with your cut.

Freddy gave her his classic fake, yet thankful grin. "Alright. Thanks Mrs. Mooneyham." He picked up the cloth Janie was offering him gratefully and pressed it gently to his forehead. Freddy hurried out of the room before either one of them could say/complain anything else.

"What happened?" Zack asked sternly as soon as Freddy entered his room. "What the hell did he do to you this time?"

Freddy shrugged passively as he dropped down onto Zack's bed gently. "It's nothing Zack…Just Ch---"

"What?" Zack snapped loudly, already knowing what Freddy was about to request. "How can I? You're living with that mad man! And you won't do anything about it! I thought you were supposed to be the punk. Weren't you supposed to be the bad boy? Don't you want to kick his ass?!!!!!"

Freddy snapped his head toward Zack, glaring hard at him. "Of course I want to kick his ass! But that's just not how it goes. I can't. So just step off!"

Zack was quiet for a while. "We're just trying to help, Freddy…"

"Help?" Freddy repeated hollowly. "Yelling at me isn't exactly helping. If you're trying to help so much then why isn't anyone doing a damn thing about it? You told Dewey, didn't you? Why hasn't he done a fucking thing? Some help."

"You told us not to…" Zack muttered defensively.

"I know that Zack. Were you born yesterday? Josh has the entire town eating out of his goddamn hand. Even if somebody told, they'd never take it seriously. Even from adults -- all they'd do is take a look at Dewey and dismiss us. So why try?" Freddy looked away quickly from the glare Zack was giving him.

"You're right." Both Freddy and Zack looked up, toward the door. "It's a personal fight." Sara let herself in without any invitation. "The cops won't do nothing bout it anyways, we've all seen the shows, they don't make shit like that up for no reason."

"What are you talking about?" Freddy demanded, glaring hard at Sara. When had anyone told her?

"Don't you get pissy with me now," Sara snapped, dropping down into the chair in front of Zack's computer. "You make it sort of obvious, Freddy. The problem with the adults here is that they're so self centered -- they can't tell what's happening right beneath their own upturned noses…A series of unfortunate events…no wonder where he got that whole deal. He must've went to Horace Green." Sara chuckled at her own joke. "Gee this would make a great movie. It'd hit big at the box office. But only if you take care of Josh, yourself."

"This isn't a movie, Sara!" Freddy began loudly.

"Oh but it is!" Sara argued. "It's the same movie -- over and over again. The abused rebel - the king for an abusive father. It's kind of cliché and I'm just a tad surprise for some one of Josh's status to try it -- but it so Hollywood. Therefore -- the only thing left for us kiddies to do is…finish the film. How else would it end?"

"That's easy for you to say," Freddy mumbled angrily.

"No it's not," Sara murmured lightly. "Movies have every single ending anybody…have ever thought of…Including murder, Freddy. This ain't no fairy tale. People die, and you just might. Your mom's in danger too -- if a man can harm an innocent child, no matter how annoying that child just so happens to be -- he can commit the greatest crime of all time -- I mean he already has -- in a way. So why not just kick it up a notch further -- and kill a few people? What do you think he's gonna do when he realizes you've let his little secret go for a little walking?"

Freddy was quiet for a few minutes before realizing that Sara was actually expecting an answer. "He'd want to start over," he murmured.

"Exactly. Very good," Sara replied cheerfully, despite their situation. "And how the hell do you think your mom's gonna react if he kills you? Which means he'd have to dispose of her as well. Because the information that you hold -- no matter how useless it is -- it can cost him his whole existence if you go to the correct people. However the correct people do not exist -- Josh just doesn't realize that yet. He's a little…" She circled her right ear for a second. "…Out there. So now it's up to us to put him where he belongs. Now…can you guess how we're gonna do that?"

"Oh no!" Freddy exclaimed sarcastically. "Please do tell me!"

Sara didn't bother to give him an annoyed look. It was fairly difficult to annoy someone like Sara. "Alright," she replied seriously. "We're gonna video tape your house."

"What?" Freddy asked, all sarcasm absent now. "That's the lamest idea I've ever heard!"

"Do you have a better one?!" Sara demanded, rising to her feet.

There was a pause of silence. "Of course I have!" Freddy shouted loudly -- his voice fully of confidence. "…I just haven't thought of it yet…" he added, much more quietly now.

"Oh come on!" Sara shouted loudly -- starting to sound an awfully like Freddy. "Look -- all we do…alright -- correction…all YOU do is set up the cameras in the general direction that the beatings occur in. I have this like super genius for a brother --"

"Did he graduate?" Freddy interrupted arrogantly.

"No. He didn't graduate," Sara snapped. "But school only limit your education. You can learn everything the school has to teach online. And for a cheaper price. ANYWAYS. He can break apart and rebuild computers. I've seen some of his 'inventions' and I can almost swear that he'll be able to build a small enough camera. It'd only take a mere three days…" Freddy gave her a weird look. "Just give the fucking thought a thought…alright?!!!"

Freddy held up his hands defensively. "Okay…Okay…Down Killer…geez…"

"Do you guys ever miss the band?" Sara asked distractedly.

Freddy arched an eyebrow. "Why?" Zack asked quietly.

"Well you see, Zachary. You got a phone call yesterday. And you weren't exactly here…so…I answered…out of the goodness of my heart. It was this old guy…Dewey? He's the one that told me bout your condition, Freddy -- I'm not psychic. But he also told me about the condition of the band. We talked for quite a bit…it really freaked me out. Weird guy. But he believes that without the two…like leading members of the band -- not only will the band crash…but so will that weird old guy." Sara nodded her head in agreement with all of her statements. "He's also the one that gave me that camera idea. He also said we should kidnap the creep…but that one was just a little too…oh I don't know…cliché."

"I'm not rejoining the band," Freddy sated immediately after Sara had finished her speech.

"What?" Sara asked breathlessly. "Why the hell not?"

"He booted me, Sara," Freddy answered seriously. "He kicked me out -- and so now that he comes back begging -- there ain't no fucking way I'm rejoining that damn band."

"Zack," Sara began, shifting her view from Freddy to Zack. "Don't you miss it? Rocking out with your friends…having friends…the concerts, the music -- the respect? Don't you miss the band? Don't you want to rejoin?"

Now Freddy and Sara were staring hard at Zack. He wasn't quite sure how to respond. "…Well yeah…I guess…its sorta been like a constant in my life since…what…5th grade. Now all there is is this large hollowness within me, and I haven't quite been able to fill it yet."

"What?" Freddy asked. "How come you never told me you felt like this?"

"You never asked," Zack answered passively.

"Of course I never asked, you big girl, why would I?" Freddy shot back.

"So you both will rejoin the band then?" Sara asked, acting like a talk show host -- somebody like that Phil guy. The kind of guy that watches people work out their own problems -- but then claims the victory for himself.

"Guess I have to," Freddy sighed heavily. He acted as though he wished not to -- but deep down he was really relieved and thankful that Zack finally confessed -- he seriously was missing the band himself.

"No," Zack stated firmly. "You don't have to."

"You never HAD to quit the band in the first place," Freddy shot back.

"But he did," Sara stated knowingly. "Friendship holds all knowledge, my dear boys. If you prove to that friend of yours that you will still rejoice in something he cannot have -- then you show that friend just how unloyal you really are. You know you wouldn't hang out with Zack if he stuck with the band. And now you will rejoin the band because you know you can rejoice in something that you know Zack WANTS to rejoice in. Besides, we both know you want it as well, so you might as well just drop the act."

"Rejoining the band will really defy Josh, will it not? So you can not only get what you want but you can always give Josh what he does not want," Zack added solemnly.

"So then the bands back on, right?" Freddy asked, all of a sudden feeling a whole lot better.

--Thanks for the new reviews. I'm so sorry some of the characters actually seem a little out of character. It's awful, and I appreciate you guys ignoring it enough to read and review. It means billions to me. I also noticed that this wasn't much of a school of rock fanfic…because…it didn't have the band. It was stupid. So now -- Dewey's gonna appear more. And we'll just have to wait and see how they handle josh. --

-- This took a little longer than it should have. I spent the night with…SARA…wow…lol. But it was great. She watched a few episodes of 21 jump street. And I knew she'd like it…and she did. It was good fun. But now I'm back. So now I'm updating. --

Please…y'know…REVIEW the goddamn story!!!! Give me feedback! The reviews I have received are much appreciated however. They're lots and lots more than I actually had expected…but every story has this bit…so…had to stick to tradition…heheh…

MSN messenger -- -- just im me whenever if any of yall wanna chat. I won't mind -- I swear it.


	12. The Point Of No Return

Thanks for the reviews. Thanks for the advice, as well. I was meaning to add Katie into the last chapter…but that's not how it played out. Sorry folks, but as I said this ain't a mary sue -- so naturally there is nothing going on between Billie and Freddy -- just cold hard friendship. I've began writing this…twenty minutes till new years day -- and I hope everyone has enjoyed theirs.

Guess what? My new obsession is…The Bad News Bears… I know -- I know - the first movie was made back in 1976 -- but it's a classic. And all classics are good are they not? I've seen the first one. But I've been searching for the second -- and I can't find it! I did find the third at family's video however. But from…EVERYBODY -- it's supposed to be a real stinky. So if anybody like finds the film or book…anywhere…PLEASE email like a scene or a part…I will forever be in your debt…PLEASE…

That there song is by…I forgot his name. But it's not the version from Lenard Cohen or whatever. That version sucked. It's called…EVERYBODY KNOWS…original, eh? I got it from Pump up the volume -- it's at the beginning when the credits are starting. It's a great song -- so if you ever get hold of that video -- I advise you to check it out.

I have decided to drop the 21 jump street quotes -- unless of course - you don't want me to. If so just say so in an email or review. It's no trouble, I just figure it to a nuisance (Is that spelt right?) - so if you want me to continue with em I'd be far FAR too glad to.

The Point of No Return

_Everybody knows that the dice are loaded_

_Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed_

_Everybody knows that the war is over_

_Everybody knows the good guys lost_

_Everybody knows the fight was fixed_

_The poor stay poor_

_The rich get rich_

Katie rapped hard on the white front door. She wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans for the fifth time in the last minute. Stefan answered the door. It was a wonder why he ALWAYS answered the door when he hated every person that knocked. Nobody ever visited the Mooneyhams unless they were friends or associates of Zack's. Stefan and his sister had no desire of ever making any friends in this part of the neighborhood - and the Mooneyhams were old - they had already grown out of their friends. Sure they were friends with the neighbors…but those were the sort of friends that you do not visit.

"Hey Stefan," Katie greeted pleasantly. She had always been the sort of treat people she hated the most kinder than those she adored. It was weird sure…but it was also nice. _An eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind. (Ghondie)_ She walked past him, slightly knocking him out of her way. Marta was right behind her. They had actually grown quite close within the past few days. Katie was actually shifting slowly into the whole 'rocker' look. She clearly still wore the uniform - but her street clothes had been changing. Baggy, loose, mostly dark colors. Her parents resented it and clearly believed that she only dressed this way to fit in with her friends. But that wasn't so. This WAS who she is. It's not an act. She was never that sort.

Marta had stuck true to herself as well. She wore hip huggers, bell bottoms -- mostly light blue jeans. Her shirts were short but not too short. She also didn't exactly complain about wearing the loose baggy clothes. Her perfect blond hair hadn't been cut for quite some time. It was now down to her elbows and was just magnificent.

Katie knocked on Zack's door before barging in on her own accord. All the heads turned toward the two intruders. Zack, Freddy and Sara. Justin had joined the trio as well, but he was now snoozing away on Zack's bed. Zack and Freddy were now sitting it two wooden chairs.

Freddy's expression was the only one that Katie could have noticed. "Hey, guys," she greeted calmly - almost emotionlessly. "We've decided to drop by, y'know, just kick with ya'll." Freddy gave Zack a look that Zack missed -- it was as if Freddy was blaming Zack for some unseen crime. "Actually, Freddy, can I talk to you?"

"Why?" Freddy asked slowly.

"Because we're friends?" Katie answered just as slowly. "…I don't need a reason…" She grabbed Freddy by the arm and dragged him out of the room.

"Hope we're not interrupting anything," Marta stated absently to Sara and Zack. Some incomprehensible words softly floated into the room. "So…I hear you're rejoining the band, Zack…"

Zack nodded. "Yeah…this is a little off topic but…"

"Do you want to go with me?" Marta blurted out. "Uh…I mean…Do you want to date me? …Do you want to go out on a date with me?…"

Zack smiled like a child who had just gotten the most desirable toy on Christmas morning. "Oh…definetly." He nearly flinched at the squeak in his voice. "I mean…What are you doing Friday?"

"Right," Sara drawled. "So…I'm gonna be in the living room if anyone needs me." She rose from her seat and headed for the door. Marta side stepped her, to give her the access. Sara opened the door and stood there for a second.

There Freddy and Katie were, so in depth with each other -- it was like the earth had fallen away from them -- the only thing either character could think about was how the other's tongue felt inside their mouth. Sara eventually walked past the couple and headed for the stairs.

She had to find Billie to run her ideas past her greatest friend. Pranks and mischief weren't new to the two of them. As most girls went through a tom-boyish change -- so did those two. They fell into sports - sure -- but along with sports they fell into pranks - and everyone was their victims.

But this was not a prank. All they needed was a few of cameras -- SMALL cameras. What the hell would happen if Josh found the cameras? Freddy would be dead then. They didn't really know much about Josh -- all Freddy had ever told anyone was that he was an abusive jerk that his mother predictably ended up marrying…but if Sara, Billie and Zack were to get involved - were to risk their own lives - they were going to have to learn more about this guy. They were going to need to know the advantages and disadvantages of his personality -- Billie, for one, would have to know what makes this guy tick. I'm sure you all are saying "Why should they know the guy if all they intend to do is spy on him?" But knowing a person takes the advantages away from that person and gives them to you. You'll know how to hurt them -- how to bribe them -- the possibilities are endless - and even if Sara never wanted to know Josh -- there was no way the four of them would walk into this 'case' blind.

That's the end of the chapter. I'm terribly sorry -- it seems to me that this story's going a little down hill. But don't worry! I'm not gonna give up on it…because that's just a little mean. I'm sorry it took quite a while to update - and I know how hard it is to wait but…it's hard to write -- you all know that…most of you all…

I hit a little writers block -- and I have clearly set Freddy up with Katie - and Zack up with Marta -- thanks for the advice - by the way.

I also saw Bad News Bears go to Japan. wink wink? Oh I love them. I mean - I heard that the third installment was actually a real stinker - and even the cast admits that it was mistake -- but any show with that Jackie earle haley in it -- oh I'm so damn thankful for…

I didn't see all of it…but it actually really did…suck…which is fine --- I sorta predicted it would. The story line was a little…predictable and unwanted -- and the kids -- all of em -- looked far damn older than 14...especially that 17 teen year old hottie…but Kelly Leak - which is Jackie's character was hot - and he did get into a fight…with a team mate, btw -- and it was so…hmmmmmm

It comes on this Friday…or Saturday…or something. I'll have to recheck. But I will catch it…obviously from the beginning - and hopefully record it. So now…that's two down and one to go…unfortunately -- the one I want to see the most - Bad News Bears in Breaking Training…I CANNOT FIND! So…I'm…y'know…planning on going to barnes n nobles to see if they've got the book…or the first movie's book…I hear kelly gets beat in that…which is sad…just awful…

Anyway…enuff of my babbling -- I REALLY wanna start on the next chapter. you should check out gleaming the cube - if you're a skateboard fan But for you all gurls -- Christian Slater is the hottest punk there ever was…but that's just my opinion…please -- obviously -- R&R. It'd be much appreciated. If there's anything you want to see or think I should correct -- just post em in a review - it'd be much appreciated -- and I'll be sure to take your concerns and advice to heart and brain. Thanks for reading.


	13. Encore

_Encore_

_it's easier to run_

_replacing this pain with something numb_

_its so much easier to go_

_than face all this pain here all alone_

_The next few days consisted of the team (Katie, Freddy, Billie, Zack, Sara, Justin and Marta) working together to get their hands on as many cameras as they possibly could. Sara was correct - and her brother 'willingly' put together the tiniest cameras any of them had ever seen -- however they weren't exactly 'tiny' in reality. But they could possibily fit into many spaces without anyone noticing. He was able to put together five camers -- and clearly Sara and Justin took the credit for it - Justin actually assisted Chris as best he could._

_The other prime source the group went to was Ned. Marta had mentioned the dire need for cameras to him one afternoon while the band was practicing - and Ned, already having heard about Freddy's 'condition' gathered up the cameras he had 'lying' around the house. The band figured it rather odd for a single guy to have quite a few cameras just 'lying' around (7 to be exact) - and they were actually the perfect type. When Billie mentioned it ("What kind of weirdo has seven tiny cameras just 'lying' about the house?") Ned broke down and told them the complete story._

_The cameras weren't 'actually' Ned's. Ned mentioned that he had bought them previously because Dewey kept complaining about how much he needed '5 or more' spy cams. Dewey used to date this 'hot' chick who was just the type to cheat on her 'not so hot' boyfriend. And she did in fact cheat on him - and Dewey got it all on tape - and dumped her the first chance he got. He actually wanted to take her to court for all the pain she had put him through - but fortunately Ned was able to talk him out of it._

_With the combination of Sara's and the band's cameras -- Freddy now had twelve cameras, which was plenty more than he actually needed. He would been satisfied with four cameras - one in the hallway, one in the living room, one in the dining room, and one in his parents bed room. Those were the only rooms it ever actually happened._

_Thankfully - Josh had been disappearing an awful lot lately - and Freddy - with the help of Marta, Zack, Katie, Billie and Sara - set up the cameras peacefully. Sara had actually talked her brother into 'loaning' them a computer and hooking all of the cameras together to form a database - so they could just watch it as it happened - like a secuity guard would. But they also - obviously - recorded it. The computer was put in Billie's room - since hers was surprisingly the cleanest...and emptiest. - and also the largest - so the entire team could fit into it comfortably._

_All seemed well, or so it could seem. Josh - as if he could read Freddy's mind - hadn't touched Freddy in over two weeks - he didn't even flip out when he discovered that Freddy had rejoined the band when Freddy came home late one night - but then again - it could be because Freddy's mother - Shelby - was there as well. Josh had yet to show Shelby his dark side - and they'd been married for quite sometime - nearly three years, in fact. But Josh hadn't showed Freddy his dark side before two years into the marriage._

_Freddy sat solemnly in his bed room, on his bed - staring down at his spotless floor. Shelby and Josh were arguing again. They were arguing more than usual lately - so naturally Josh had been destroying more valuable items more than usual. Ironically the majority of the things Josh chose to destory meant nothing to Shelby -- he ironically chose to destroy things that meant an awful lot to Freddy. But Freddy bit his tongue and didn't comment or argue about it._

_Glass crashed to the ground, breaking upon impact - and Freddy pushed away the relief of knowing that it was nothing that belonged to him. He had decided to hide whatever he believed he loved most -- he tried hiding them in places that Josh couldn't find them - but Josh found things more easily than not. Shelby was yelling again._

_Freddy's eyes widen when he realized that they were not fighting about an object, or an event - but a person. They were fighting about him. They'd never actually 'fought' about Freddy. Shelby had pleaded and asked Freddy to be good around Josh. "Don't make him angry." And Freddy could only guess that it meant that she knew he hadn't been in fights -- but his wounds were caused primarily by Josh._

_Wounds so deep they never show._

_They never go away._

_Then one noise -- a noise that was so familiar -- flesh against flesh in the smacking sound. There was a thud as Shelby dropped to the ground...and distantly he could hear his mother's familiar sobbing. A door slammed shut a minute later and Freddy could rest easily knowing that Josh had left. Freddy jumped to his feet and jogged down the stairs and to the living room. (There were five cameras in the living room. And Freddy could just imagine the looks on Zack and Katie's face - who were probably watching this right now -- Katie's computer could hook up to their video database any time she wanted)_

_He freezed in the doorway at the seen. Shelby was a shaking heap on the ground - surrounded by glass and trash. Her cheek was already swelling and her makeup was running. "Mom..." Freddy murmured before walking to her side - and kneeling beside her. He slowly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a warm embrace._

_"I'm sorry, Freddy," Shelby sobbed loudly into his neck. "I should've noticed this sooner. I should've saw the tension between you and Josh...I should've asked you about it..."_

_"It's alright, mom," Freddy murmured into her ear. "It's gonna be alright. I won't _let _him hurt you again. I won't let him _touch _you again."_

**sometimes i remember the darkness of my past**

**bring back these memories I wish I didn't have**

**Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back**

**never moving foreward so there'd never be a past**

_Freddy refused to leave the house - ever - after the last scene. As soon as he had gotten Shelby to his room - she insisted on sleeping in his bed - she said something about her bed giving her too many memories. And Freddy didn't exactly want to sleep in her bed either but he still let her have his bed - he'd take the couch. -- Freddy picked up the phone and dialed Zack's number. Zack answered it on the first ring - ignoring that it was 11:30 at night._

_"We've got all the evidence we need, Jones," Zack said loudly into the receiver. "Case close -- call the cops."_

_"Not yet, zack," Freddy said quietly. "Did you see everything that happened?"_

_"Yeah," Zack answered - this time quieter. "Is your mom alright? That swing was awful."_

_"She's fine," Freddy answered emotionlessly. "Did you hear what they were arguing about? I couldn't hear all of it."_

_"Yeah," Zack answered. "Josh wanted to send you off to boarding school -- but for the first time EVER Shelby actually stood up to him and said 'hell no' - you're not going anywhere. That's when things got louder. He threw all the vases - or glass items within touch - and he threw them all at her."_

_"Figured," Freddy replied in a hiss that almost made Zack afraid. "She had a few brusies - few cuts - there was some glass in her."_

_"But he's gone now," Zack stated encouragingly._

_"For the time being," Freddy added quietly. "It's time for the big finish, Zack."_

_Zack was quiet for a moment. "...What the hell is that supposed to mean..?"_

_"One slap, a few thrown items - I doubt that'd land him behind bars," Freddy pointed out. "If they want a reason -- I'll give them one."_

_"Uh huh...Are you high?" Zack asked seriously. "You've been on the hitting end, Fred, you've seen how hard he hits -- if you actually go out to defy him...well...he'll probably just...oh...I dunno...KILL YOU!"_

_Freddy held the receiver away from his ear while Zack yelled heatedly. "He won't kill me, Zack," Freddy stated calmly. "Be realistic here. All he'll do is hit me a little bit. Plus -- this'll be the only time that I'm gonna be able to hit him."_

_Zack nodded - even though Freddy couldn't see him. "Defense. But you could've always hit him before."_

_"I know..." Freddy agreed. "But we didn't have cameras before. I would've been killing myself for no reason. It'd been stupid then."_

_"...No..." Zack said coldly. "It's still stupid. You have to let us help."_

_Freddy shook his head. "Nah, you can't...they'd probably charge it with some stupid shit like mob action. -- that happened last time I started a food fight - I was in juvie hall for two days!"_

_"...and suspended for ten," Zack added. "You're starting a war and...you're running in head first without any weapons, Freddy."_

_"It'll be worth it though, Zack. She made a mistake - it's only a mistake -- she shouldn't be punished for it - least not like this. She always fixes my screw ups -- so now - I want to fix hers."_

_"Alright...Freddy," Zack said slowly. "But we'll be with you the whole way -- the first time he draws blood I'm calling the cops."_

_Freddy hesitated. "The first time? Can't it be more like...the tenth time? Or the fifth time?...or even the third time? The first time?"_

_"Freddy," Zack snapped._

_"Alright, alright," Freddy chuckled. "jeez, you're acting like your best friend's about to commit suicide, or something..."_

_Both of the boys were quiet for a moment. "My mom's coming, I better go."_

_"Peace out," Freddy said quietly -- then both hung up at the same time. Freddy looked around the living room -- it was just how Josh had left it - and oddly enough - that annoyed the hell out of Freddy. Freddy's 'real' father's voice filled his head. "Leave it! You didn't make the mess...now did you?" It was a growl - but the events that followed it wasn't exactly all that great either. "Well...Can't let him be happy..." Freddy muttered hotly. He slowly walked over the broom closet and pulled out the broom before setting to the task at hand._


	14. BREAKING THE CYCLE

_Breaking the cycle_

_what would you do_

_if it was you_

_would you take everything for granted like you do?_

_Freddy awoke a little earlier than he usually does on school days -- he woke up at 4 - seeking an escape from his nightmares. Freddy rarely had nightmares -- even now - with Josh - he rarely dreamt about his troubles.But these nightmares, these visions and voices - they just refused to leave the poor child be. About ten minutes after he had woken up - the phone started to ring - seeing as Josh had yet to return and his mother was still asleep - he answered the phone himself._

_"Freddy?" Billie's voice asked lightly. "What are you doing up?"_

_Freddy paused for a moment before answering. "Didn't you call here for me?"_

_Billie nodded tiredly. "Yeah...of course. I got this feeling you'd be up - so why not have a chat?"_

_"What about?" Freddy asked, as he dropped down onto the couch and covered himself back up. Their house had always been cold late at night and early in the morning._

_"I did that search Sara hd insisted on," Billie began. "With my oh so smartness -- I was able to hack into police records...okay okay...so my dad used to have this friend who's still at the DA's office -- and he sorta just gave me the files. As it turns out -- the cops won't be surprised that Josh hit your mom. He has a rather massive record of hitting his women - girlfriends, wives -- he's been married like six times -- and all of his wives ended up the same way -- deceased. He's a killer, Freddy. But he ALWAYS had an alibi - one that a few cops could back up -- luckly I've got their names - so we might be able to side step them. But I advice you to get your mom out of there. I heard you're ready for the showdown -- but your mom can't be there. Invite her to Zack's alright? The moment he gets home -- because I've got a feeling that he's ready for a showdown as well. But he's ran into many many bratty kids like yourself - and he has no interest in killing you. He hit Shelby when he was attempting to change -- and that just won't do."_

_"Alright..." Freddy replied, staring off into space as the voices from a long lost memory refilled his head. "Where is she?" a father lost long ago asked loudly. "Dead..." an uncle replied with a grin. Then there was laughter. But she wasn't dead...she was like a phoenix -- she rose from her ashes...only to be snuffed down again._

_"So this isn't the first time it's happened, huh?" Billie's understanding voice asked the statement._

_"What?" Freddy snapped -- pushing the memories away._

_"You act as though he's not the first guy to hit on your mom..." Billie let herself trail off._

_"It's like she attracts them..." Freddy stated lamely. "This is the 5th guy to hit her. It's the 5th guy within my life to hit her. As she escapes each one it's like she leaves a part of herself with them. If she keeps going like this she'll be completely gone by the time I'm twenty."_

_Billie nodded. "Yeah. My mom was like that for a while there too. She hated my dad so much...but it was kinda like she liked his type."_

_Freddy nodded. "They've never hurt me this much. I was nearly in shock the first time Josh drew blood -- I would've...but I couldn't fight back...I'd never been in so much pain before...She's had so much trouble with all of the guys before -- I'm almost scared she won't be able to get rid of this one..."_

_Billie nodded - Freddy could picture her nodding the way she always did when she was trying to rearrange her message to sound almost cryptic...but still human. "So lets break the cycle, then," Billie nearly purred._

_Both Freddy and Billie froze as the sound of the front door slamming open echoed throughout the house. "...What was that?" Billie asked slowly._

_"It's showtime." Freddy hung up the phone and jumped off of the couch._

_Billie hung up the phone quick and nearly ran into Zack's room. Zack was snoring loudly. Billie shook Zack violently. "Zack....how can you possibly be this heavy of a sleeper...Zack!"_

_"Five more minutes, mom..." Zack mumbled sleepily._

_Billie glared down at his all too cliche line. "Josh is home, Zack...Get up -- you're going to Freddy's."_

_Zack was wide awake now. He spun over onto his back to stare up at Billie. "What? He told us to stay out!...Josh is back?!!!"_

_Billie glared harder. "You - Sara - and Justin will stay outside his house - and simply peer in through the window. Keep an eye on him -- an eye that isn't blocks away."_

_"What about Marta and Katie?" Zack asked seriously -- already getting out of bed. He walked toward the closet to get a clean pair of pants and t shirt._

_"I'll give them a call. I have a feeling they haven't been able to sleep either," Billie answered. "I'll invite them over -- keep the door unlocked. They'll just have to settle for watching it on the digital screen - than actually being there. Get dressed - and make it fast - we don't know how long this fight can actually go on. I'll go wake Justin and Sara."_

_**The hate you feel won't go away**_

_**you're all programmed to feel this way**_

_**to live another day within a world that loves to suffer**_

_"What are you doing up so early?" Josh asked soberly, walking into the living room where Freddy was waiting. "I see you cleaned up the mess."_

_Freddy nodded calmly. Ironically Katie's words somehow resurfaced in his mind. 'Peace over anger. Honor over hate. Strength over Fear.' "The mess?" Freddy asked. "Oh right...the one you made when you were beating on my mom...ohhh...that one..."_

_"Now don't get your knickers in a twist -- it was one soft tap - your mother was just overreacting," Josh said calmly, dropping down onto the couch._

_"A soft tap?" Freddy repeated softly. "Her cheek is already starting to bruise, Josh -- she'll probably have a black eye because of you."_

_Josh waved it away. "It's no more than I've done to you, Fred, now is it?" He asked tauntingly. **Peace over anger**. "You know you're jealous. Why did I seek you out instead of your mother. Because your mother can _satisfy _me. You cannot."_

_Freddy glared at Josh -- realizing what it exactly was that his 'father' meant. Peace was out the fucking window like a bat out of hell. "Oh... You're a big man, aren't you you fucking son-of-a-bitch. You can hit on a defenseless kid and a broken woman. Some man you are."_

_"Excuse me?" Josh asked seriously, giving Freddy a hard stare._

_Freddy went to repeat his line -- when a defensive line from Marta popped into his head. "Did I st-stutter?" Freddy spat harshly._

_Josh was on his feet and launched himself at Freddy -- knocking them both to the floor. Freddy thrashed underneath his step father -- even as Josh started throwing the punches. Freddy bit his bottom lip to keep the screams inside -- he couldn't wake his mother -- with her asleep she was protected._

_"He can't do that to my Freddy!" Katie hissed loudly, covering up her face with both hands....but then still peaking through two fingers. "He's gonna kill him..."_

_Billie shook her head. "There will be no dead punks on my watch." Billie reached across the computer desk and picked up her phone. She dialed Freddy's number._

_The phone's shrill ringing filled the tensed room. Josh slowed his punching and lifted his head to eye the phone. Freddy's hard breathing soon filled the quiet room. Josh pushed hard onto Freddy's chest and climbed to his feet -- stomping over to the phone. He snatched it up. "What?!!!"_

_Billie and Katie exchanged looks. Billie covered up the receiver and cleared her throat - before uncovering the receiver. "Excuse me...is this Josh..." She didn't know his last name..._

_Josh narrowed his eyes. "So what?" He snapped loudly. Freddy slowly climbed to his feet - wiping the blood away from his nose and praying that Zack hadn't already called the cops. Nosebleeds were far beyond common._

_"Goddamnit," Zack swore loudly. "I forgot to bring a phone...now who's gonna call the cops!?"_

_"Chill, Dexter," Sara stated emotionlessly. "Billie, Marta and...Katie is watching this -- they'll call the cops in due time."_

_"There is something about that damn car I sold to you all those months ago," Billie said a deep - nearly maleish voice._

_Katie stared wide-eyed at the computer screen. "We should call the cops..."_

_Marta shrugged. "We can't."_

_"Why not?!!!?" Katie nearly shouted. Billie gave her a warning look._

_"We haven't got the number," Marta answered quietly._

_Katie glared knives at her friend. "Marta!"_

_Billie covered up the receiver. "Shut it, will you?" She hissed loudly before moving the phone back to her ear._

_"That's interesting an' all, Joe, but I'm in the middle of something here," Josh stated kindly into the phone -- giving Freddy a look. Freddy gave Josh a look right back -- wiping more blood away from his nose._

_"Don't be stupid, Jones," Marta said to the moniter. "Attack the bastard while he isn't looking!"_

_"Ignore her, Freddy..." Katie thought bitterly. "Peace over anger. Honor over Hatred."_

_PEACE OVER ANGER. Freddy rubbed his bruised and probably broken jaw. "The hell with peace. The hell with honor," he muttered bitterly. Freddy launched himself at Josh -- knocking Josh into the counter. Freddy kicked his step father as hard as he could in his shin then brought his knee up to knee him in the nuts._

_"Holy shit," Billie gasped in her regular voice into the receiver. "I...mean...Mole-i's hit...My mole...hit himself...on the cage..."_

_"Wow...that little guy sure can hit...once he's beaten up enough...." Justin commented quietly, shivering slightly._

_Freddy pulled back his fist to punch Josh in the face again. The tables were turned and he wasn't about to waste any time trying to adjust to it. His bleeding fist smashed into Josh's bleeding face again. Josh shook away his pain. He shot out an arm and latched a hand onto Freddy's neck, before shoving the boy off of him. Freddy landed heavily on the floor beside him. "You'll be sorry for that one," Josh muttered harshly, grabbing a hold of Freddy's neck again - violently jerking Freddy to his feet._

_Josh slammed Freddy into a wall. Freddy gasped loudly -- trying to recapture the air that his father had just freed from him. Josh's fists were smashing into his face again. Over and over and over and..._

_Katie gasped loudly - seconds from tears. She grabbed telephone from Billie's grasp and quickly dialed 911 and shoved the phone next to her ear. "What are you doing?" Marta snapped._

_"Saving my baby," Katie spat angrily. "How can you two just...watch this -- like it's some kind of show. Like you don't know this kid. Billie - you said it yourself - this bastard's a killer -- I don't want my baby to be one of his victims...I'm calling for help."_

_Marta and Billie remained quiet for a while. "He told me to hang off on the police for as long as I could," Billie finally said. "He said Katie should break down soon enough -- but I shouldn't push it. Remember -- this is a personal battle., after all..."_

_"Damn," Sara exclaimed quietly. "If he keeps bleeding like this he's bound to run out of blood within the hour." Sara and Zack exchanged a pained look - but they both froze as a loud noise made it to their ears -- and both turned to look at a now sound - asleep Justin._

_"I want you to beg me!" Josh declared loudly - grinning evily down at a near unconscious Freddy - who was in heap at his feet. Josh kicked him hard in the rips -- receiving a loud groan from the poor boy. "Beg me to spare you and that whore you think of as a mother. Beg me you selfish prick."_

_Freddy ground his teeth in frustration -- he kicked out his feet - kicking Josh hard in the shins. Josh yelped before toppling over Freddy's battered boy. Freddy tried to get away from Josh but Josh was just faster. Josh pulled himself ontop of Freddy and threw his hands around the boy's neck and started squeezing. No matter what he did -- Freddy just couldn't over power this guy._

_Either way -- he would break his mother's cycle...but he'd never seem to break Josh's cycle._


	15. the chronicals of life and death

Since I so cruely made you all wait for the next chapter -- I updated it with two chapters...and a wonderful cliff hanger. I suck at cliff hangers -- so I decided to slip one in anyways...

Now I meant to put this at the end of the last chapter -- but I was sort of in a rush to update (unwedded father was one...we all know we all live Brian Austin Green....) so Iforgot it. But just in case any one's wondering where all the cameras did go...here it is...how interesting...

Living Room: 5 cameras (I said that in a previous chapter)

Dining room: 3 cameras. (Since there is no door separating the dining room and living -- some of the cameras from the living has footage of the dining room as well.)

Parents room: 1 camera.

Hallway: Two cameras it's a rather long hallway...?

Freddy's room: 1 camera. (Katie and Zack had persuaded him -- Freddy wasn't exactly open to the idea of people watching him. Marta had suggested he put a camera in the bath room...but apparently he 'decided' not to...for obvious reasons...

And there you have. Sorry for the 'long' wait. These chapters are -- oddly enuff -- becoming easier to write.

Thanks smiles4100 for the idea of using ned -- I had actually meant to take up your idea of them lying and stuff...but then it totally slipped my mind and I just sort of let it all play out naturally. Hope you guys don't hate me for that. Review review...REVIEW!!!...this won't take longer than four days...I swear it!

The chronicals of life and death

**You have been dying since the day**

**you were born**

**you know it has all be planned**

**the quartet of deliverance rides**

**a sinner once a sinner twice**

**no need for conffession now**

**cause now you have got the fight of your life**

The trio outside of the building ran as fast as they could around the house and through the front door. Josh was still squeezing as hard as he could on Freddy's poor wittle neck - red skin was already starting to appear above and below Josh's thick hands. "Get off!" Zack bellowed -- jumping at Josh. Josh looked up - a little surprised - but soon recovered. The pain he had once felt before had already disappeared. Josh lifted a hand and swatted Zack away. Zack wouldn't give up -- he jumped to his feet -- only to freeze when Josh pulled out a gun that he had been concealing.

"You see this?" Josh sneered - aiming his hand gun at the trio. "It has three bullets. I had intended to use them on that bitch upstairs...but I think you three are more suitable for it."

Zack's eyes dropped down to Freddy -- who was unconscious underneath Josh. "Is he dead?" Zack demanded - stepping forward.

"Zack," Sara ground out, eyeing the leader of the group.

"No - unfortunately he's not dead yet," Josh sighed miserably. "But he soon will be -- along with you three and that whore upstairs. It's rather unbelievable -- she'll probably die of grief -- while she was snoring so peacefully upstairs -- her bastard down stairs was being straggled to death."

"Too bad that's not gonna be the ending," Zack snapped evily. He was nearly a completely different person.

"Oh yeah?" Josh asked calmly.

"Oh yeah," Zack snapped loudly, taking a tentative step forward.

Josh cocked his gun and aimed it solely at Zack's abdomen. He was so caught up in the situation at hand -- he didn't hear the back door open. He didn't hear the back door shut. The next thing he heard was the cock of a gun mere centimeters from his own head. "Freeze," came the cool voice. "Drop the goddamn gun."

Josh turned his head slightly to get a better look at the cop. He recognized him faintly. Josh slowly withdrew his gun and lifted it slowly. The gunshot echoed throughout the quiet house - and Josh dropped lifelessly onto of his step son. Justin, Sara and Zack all let out a loud breath that none of them were aware they were holding.

"You kids alright?" Officer Rebelle asked unemotionally. He knelt down beside Josh and shoved him off of Freddy. Rebelle lifted his walkie-talkie to his mouth. "I need an ambulence. We've got one dead and one severly injured."

"Chase Rebelle, man?" Justin asked off handly.

Officer Rebelle looked up from Josh to look at Justin. "O'Connor," he chuckled invitingly. "What's up!" They came together and did than 'guy' hug thing that guys usually do - y'know patting each other on the back and such.

"Shit," Justin answered tiridly. "Thanks for...showing up?"

"Nah -- just doing my job," Chase stated lamely...then they both broke out in laughter. Justin and Chase were the same type -- slackers. Chase had had a number of odd jobs -- he was a college failure -- but now he was a cop. Claiming to be just 'doing' his job. "Hey man, you got a job here?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah -- got one the other day."

Sara nodded this time. "He washes trucks for a living."

Justin gave Sara a look. "Please. Sara. Try not to make it sound so glamorous, will you?"

Chase chuckled. "See you two are still together. Heard about you mom, Sara. I'm sorry, she was a pretty good friend."

"It's fine," Sara stated quietly. "I'm sure she would be glad that you decided to save our lives."

"Do you guys need to go to the hospital?" Chase asked in a robotic tone - as if he was hired to ask that particular question.

Zack shook his head. "Nah. He didn't touch any of us."

"Except for you," Justin added.

Chase eyed Zack. "You sure you're alright?"

Zack gave Chase a look. "I'm fine."

"Right...so, Chase, this is Zack. Zack this is Billie's brother -- Chase," Sara introduced cheerfully.

"You're the one who left her with an abusive bastard?" Zack asked lightly. He wasn't accusing -- just asking.

Chase was quiet for a little bit. "...No..._Her _mother kicked me out..."

Zack nodded. "Ohhh...so that explains it..." It was sarcasim.

Marta eyed the computer screen. "Why's he so concern about you?" She asked Billie hotly.

"Freddy's unconscious..." Katie stated worridly.

"Chill, Kate," Billie stated calmly. "Chase said he was severly injured -- not dead."

"Can you believe that psycho just shot himself in the head..."

The three girls nodded in agreement before all freezing...that was a male voice. All three of them turned around at the same time. Stefan...

"What are you doing in my room?" Billie demanded.

"What are you doing with these chics in your room at..." He eyed his clock. "6 in the morning?"

"Sleep over," Billie shot back. "What is to you?"

"Do my aunt and uncle know of this...sleep over?" Stefan asked accusatingly.

"It was a last minute thing," Billie snapped. "Does you aunt and uncle know of this...intrusion of my privacy?"

"Do they know that two of their guests and their own son has left the primacies withOUT their permission?" Stefan growled.

Billie paused. "...um...no...?"

"I'm telling!"

Billie jumped to her feet. "Have you ever been a patient in a hospital, Stefan?"

Stefan nodded victoriously. "I had my tounsels removed once," he added.

All three of the girls rolled their eyes. "You wanna find out how they treat their dead?" Billie asked.

Both Katie and Marta jumped to their feet now - to join in. "You can't just threaten him," Katie murmured to Billie.

"You wanna bet?" Billie snapped. And that's when all four of them broke out in the argument -- their own chatter covering up eachother's statements.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna be forced to take you three down to the station," Chase said warily - as Freddy was lifted into the ambulence. "For a statement...we do have a dead body, after all..."

"...I'm on parole..." Justin pointed out - a little concerned.

"And who's fault is that?" Sara snapped. Justin and Sara exchanged glares.

"It's alright," Chase interupted their eye feuds. "This won't hurt any of you -- you guys were the victims. We just need your statements -- I was there -- I know that none of you were to blame."

"Even if you werent here...well...he wouldn't have killed himself...but we have it all on tape," Zack pointed out. He then pointed to the main camera - that was slyly placed behind two plants. "We set up the cameras before all this happened."

"Why?" Chase asked as he led them to his car. Justin took the front seat while the others took the back.

"That bastard was hitting on Jones," Justin said simply.

"So - instead of bringing this to the cops that litter this place -- we decided to gather evidence first," Sara added.

"What about his mom?" Zack asked. "She's still asleep..."

Chase shook his head. "I searched the place -- I didn't see anybody else."

"Then where is she?" Zack asked lamely.

"Work," Sara said calmly. Zack and Justin both looked at her. "I saw some of her schedules -- she probably left before Freddy woke up -- so he didn't know she wasn't there. She's at her job."

"But...We have cameras...wouldn't Billie have noticed?" Zack asked. "She hasn't been to sleep in like...four days..."

Sara shrugged. "What if Billie had noticed?"

Zack opened his mouth to argue but then closed it slowly.

_"I want you to get rid of that kid, honey." Shelby shook her head. "We can send him to boarding school - I'll pay for it. I just hate it when kids like him nose around my business all the time."_

_Freddy sat silently in the living room -- taking everything that was being said in the kitchen in - that was being said bout him behind closed doors. This was the first boyfriend he'd seen shelby with that he actually didn't hate completely -- so the boyfriend just had to end up hating him. "I can't." Shelby's voice was weak. "He's my kid - I can't just abandon him in some boarding school."_

_"It's either me or him -- you pick." His voice was angry now -- and Freddy as much as Shebly suspected what would happen after ---_

_"Alright, I pick him." Still weak._

_He growled loudly, like some caged animal -- and brought up his hand -- before slapping shelby hard across the face. Freddy was on his feet now -- he had done pretty will with looking the other way -- but nobody hits on his mother while he's around. While he can prevent it. Especially no drunk._

_That was the first time Freddy had ever ended up in the hospital -- he had lung failure and a few cracked ribs. He sure believed that no matter how many boyfriend's hit on Shelby -- they never hit on him -- he was never home -- and that's the way they liked it. But Josh was different - he hit on Freddy on a regular basis -- and ALWAYS wanted him home. Sure -- he JUST put Freddy in the hospital -- but he is obviously by the far the worst boyfriend Shelby could've chosen._

"What's the matter with him?" Katie whimpered. "Why hasn't he woken up yet?" It had been a few hours -- The cops had gotten their statements from justin, sara, zack -- and then he went and got them from billie, katie and marta -- now all he 'wanted' was a statement from Freddy. He had called Shelby hours ago -- but she worked in a different state -- and still hadn't arrived yet.

"Calm down, Katie," Marta commanded soothingly, rubbing her friend's back. "He'll be just fine. He's Freddy..."

"Ah...man....guys, how could i have let this happen?" Dewey asked in a (somehow) more concern voice than Katie. "I knew what was happening. Who's stupid idea was it that i didn't do anything?"

"Freddy's not dead, Dewey," Zack stated in a firm tone. "He's still unconscious but he's NOT dead. So can we please save the guilt unil he's dead?"

"Until?!!!?" Katie gasped loudly -- giving Zack a look. "Until!!!" She repeated.

"Well I didn't mean it like that..." Zack muttered.

A moan from the bed alerted the rest. "Freddy?" Katie asked -- her voice actually full of hope. Katie leaned forward and gave Freddy a long -- tight hug. Freddy didn't argue -- he just opened his eyes -- and tried to return the hug -- a long with a few groans. "Are you alright?" Katie asked when they parted.

"Fine." Freddy answered in a husky voice. Freddy grined at Katie. "How do i look, m'love?"

"The handsomiest a man has ever been," Katie answered in the sweetest voice she could muster.

Freddy gave her a somewhat 'pained' smile. He wasn't looking too good -- his face was just covered with cuts and bruises -- you could hardly see any peach on his face. Luckly Josh hadn't really 'hit' anything major -- he didn't break a jaw or an arm or anything like that -- he didn't break a bone -- he didn't do much. But he still did a lot. Everyone could see that.

Freddy winced and sometimes groaned every time he moved - he was still breathing hard - and apparantely found it rather difficult to talk. But he didn't need to talk. Katie told Freddy how it all went down after he had passed out -- and Freddy couldn't seem happier -- even if Josh had killed himself.

So things were pretty much looking to be pretty bright.. -- or so they thought.

That concludes the chapter. Sorry -- I would've updated the same day I began this chaoter...but you see...there was this static shock and teen titans marathon...oh it's the greatest ever...i actually saw a few episodes of both shows that I've never really seen before...it was great... however -- they did say they were going to end the teen titans marathon with an all new episode - that was scheduled to air on this up coming friday - the 22nd. But last saturday Cyborg left the titans for the titans east - who were secretly being controlled by brother blood -- if he left -- if he's STILL in the east -- then how come he was in this episode?!!!? It's annoying. I'll have to do some research. It was a good episode tho. I loved! But anyways...review review REVIEW!!...


	16. Can't take that Away

_**Well, since some certain people want at least one more chapter -- here it is. I'm actually not quite sure if this'll be the last chapter -- that's up to my wonderful fans. If you want another chapter after this one -- just say so in the reviews.**_

_**Can't Take that away**_

_**was a time when I wasn't sure **_

_**but you set my mind at ease**_

_**there is no doubt that you're in my heart now**_

_**said woman take it slow**_

_**and you'll work yourself out fine**_

_**all we need is just a little patience**_

It'd been no more than five days -- and Freddy was still in the hospital. He had just gotten his mother to go home and finally get some rest. Katie was another big one -- she just wouldn't leave his side -- but that was alright with him. They usually shared the hospital bed and would just lay there all day like that -- occassionally fiting a few naps in there. Dewey and Ned stopped by nearly everyday -- and Zack, Marta, Billie, Sara, Justin and a few other band members would stop by a few times a day just to make sure he's still part of the living. Freddy couldn't really complain about the attention he was receiving.

Billie and Katie were the only ones visiting him now - at this particular time. Billie seemed to visit him an awful lot -- but all she could do was claim that she had nothing better to do. "So -- you succeeded, pal -- you have just won your first civil war." Billie's voice was fairly unemotional about it.

Freddy looked down at Katie who was cuddled deep into his arms on the bed with him -- sound asleep. It was quite a sight. "Yeah. So...what's next?"

"Your recovery," Billie smirked, leaning back in her uncomfortable hospital chair and propping her feet up onto the path of bed that niether of the two were occupying.

Freddy nodded. "And then things can go back to normal -- I can focus my sole attention back onto the band. I can act like I usually did before him."

Billie nodded before pausing. "...I don't think I know exactly how...that is. But sure -- as long as that makes you happy."

"And what are you gonna do?" Freddy asked quietly, staring evenly at Billie.

"What do you mean?" Billie asked, sinking further in the uncomfortable chair. She tilted her head back and slowly let her eyes slip closed.

"What are you gonna do about your dad?" Freddy explained in the same quiet voice he had been using a lot -- when he was alone with her or katie. His voice would usually return back to normal when the 'guys' or marta and sara were in the room. Billie just figured that his throat still hurt when he talked. Billie shook her head. "You can't live forever with Zack."

Billie leaned her head back again. "I know. I'm just gonna live with him for three more years."

"His dad dislikes you."

"I know that," Billie answered. Zack's dad 'disliked' everybody Zack associated himself with.

"Are you sure he'll let you stay with him for...a year at the most?" Freddy asked calmly.

Billie shrugged. "Nope. What do you expect me to do? Live with you?"

"No," Freddy answered. "You should live with your mom."

"I can't," Billie stated firmly.

"Why not?" Freddy asked.

"What's the matter with you?" Billie snapped. "You trying to get rid of me?" She didn't open her eyes -- she didn't look at his surprised face.

"No..." Freddy answered quieter than quietly. "I just..."

"She's dead, Freddy," Billie explained quietly. "He killed her while you were getting your ass kicked."

Freddy was quiet for a moment -- and Billie didn't open her eyes. She didn't want to face the face he was about to give her. She didn't want his pity. "I'm sorry, Billie."

"You shouldn't be," Billie said quietly. "She sort of asked for it. She had hated him so much but she still could get rid of him. And it's not even his fault. She never once tried to get rid of him - she let him in again and again -- and even slept easier when he decided against hitting her. But he did hit someone. And she hardly even bothered to comfort when he did. She knew what he was capable of -- and she hooked right back up with him the second I left. I was the only thing standing in the way. I was the only thing that kept him from focusing on her -- I was the only reason she was alive. Guess she was just a little too dumb to realize that."

"You're letting the anger talk..." Freddy replied slowly - quietly.

"No," Billie breathed out. "See." She lifted her head and opened her unique eyes to stare evenly at Freddy. "I'm not. That's the thing. I'm just stating facts. She _deserved _what she got. She really did. And I don't even miss her!" Billie kind of surprised herself -- she was actually crying. And she wasn't even trying to hide it.

Freddy slowly rose from the bed, and slowly, gently walked over to Billie. "Billie...don't cry..."

Billie rose to her feet to face Freddy. "There's this hole in my heart..." She muttered bitterly. "She left me here all alone -- and I _know _she doesn't even care."

Freddy pulled Billie into a warm embrace - slowly rocking her gently. "Don't say that, Billie...your mother loved you..."

"Sure she did," Billie agreed - her voice distorted with emotion. "I know she did. But those were just her feelings - not her actions. Everytime he came over she would all of sudden abandon me - to go to him. She'd leave me to go to that scum! I used to think there was something wrong with me..."

"There isn't," Freddy interrupted.

"I know that now," Billie replied. "There never was anything the matter with me. It was her -- she was the one with the defects. Not me..."

Freddy hugged her harder. "You don't need her Billie..."

"I know...I never did. I never will..."

Freddy and Billie finally broke the hug. And to both their surprises tears had welled up in Freddy's eyes. "I'm sorry, Jones..." Billes wiped away his tears. "I didn't mean to put a dark cloud over this parade..."

Freddy forced a chuckled - wiping at his own tears now. "I don't know what's the matter with me..."

"You care, man..." Billie explained. "You like me. You really like me!"

"Are you going to the funeral?" Freddy asked, trying to change the subject a little bit.

Billie shrugged, leaning against the bed. "I haven't really decided yet. A friend of my mom's asked me to speak at her funeral. But I'm not sure I want to."

"What are you gonna do about your dad?" Freddy asked, sitting gingerly down into the hospital chair Billie used to sit in.

"I don't know," Billie replied darkly.

"How'd he kill her?" Freddy asked quietly. It was a harsh question -- but Freddy actually wanted to know. He knew that Billie _never _turned away one of his questions -- she just wasn't that type.

"She was pregnant.." Billie began in a hushed tone. Freddy had to lean forward just to hear it all. "He hates kids -- even she knows that. He wanted an abortion - but they...y'know...didn't have enough money for it. He wanted a 'natural' abortion. But no matter how cruel my mom can unconsciously be -- she'd never kill an unborn child on purpose -- it just goes against everything she believes in. However -- my dad didn't think that way...if she wasn't gonna get rid of the kid -- he was."

Billie took a large breath before continuing. "He shoved her in front of a moving truck...a semi truck..."

Freddy's eyes widen a little bit. "A...semi truck? So...she like got splattered?"

Billie shook her head solemnly. "No. The truck had actually saw it coming -- and slammed on the brakes. So he was going rather slowly by the time it reached my mom. However -- it wasn't going slow enough - she didn't get 'splattered'...but she didn't survive it either."

Freddy nodded and opened his mouth to apologize. "Don't," Billie commanded firmly before Freddy could get out the apology. "Don't apologize. You didn't even know them. You didn't do anything. Why apoligize when it wasn't your fault?"

Freddy closed his mouth and nodded again. "Are you gonna be alright?" he asked instead.

Billie nodded slowly. "If the mooneyhams'll have me -- sure."

Freddy got to his feet. He lurched forward and threw his arms around Billie again - hugging her hard and desperately -- as if he never wanted to let go. "I'm not going anywhere," Billie whispered into his ear.

"Good," Freddy whispered back. "Because I won't let you."


	17. Author's note part three

_Authors note_

_Right so -- get this -- I was actually planning on ending the story after Freddy had 'defeated' his father. But apparently some people want me to write more. But don't get me wrong. I totally don't mind. I love writting -- so...y'know...if something ain't broken -- don't try to fix it. So this is clearly working -- and I had made my new chapter like the other day. _

_Poor Billie's mother just had to go...to keep it interesting? But I guess we can run with this idea for a little bit. Just so I don't leave you in the dark -- I do plan on having Freddy's mother start dating. Again. And you'll get to see how Freddy responds to that. For all those FreddyKatie shipper fans -- You will also get to see their relationship grow. And another relationship will start to die out...Can't give too much detail -- because then what would the reason for reading it be?_

_Another thing is -- I'm not sure. I'm thinking about working Billie's own daddy into the mix. So I guess I'm sort of holding a poll? Review this chapter...and tell me if you think Billie's dad should make a cameo or not. Yeah -- and what about Freddy's dad -' There's also gonna be some 'flash-back' sequances coming up -- y'know...to show you how it was for freddy. Or Billie. Or zack -- or whoever is having the flash back._

_So I guess that's all then...? i like author's notes...I never really ever read them...but I still like them..._


	18. sorry nother authors note

AUTHORS NOTE

I know I know - I swore not to make you wait more than four days -and I no doubtly did - my bad. But you see - i had actually finished the entire next chapter - but I CANT FIND IT! Wow, I never thought anything could annoy or anger me this much - but it does. I had really actually tied up a few loose ends - and now I'll have to rewrite it all. But I will - I won't just abanndon the entire story because of one lost file. No - I'm sure I can remember the majority of the chapter, but I doubt it'd be as good tear drop. I'm so so terribly sorry about this - it's...tacky. I know. But I will get right on making another chapter - and update as soon as possible - and hopefully get back on the roll with the rest of the chapters.

How ever - I can't start writing till saturday - tomorrow my friend sara where's that name from? I dunno! wants me to spend the night tomorrow. So I'll ride the bus home from school with her - and I won't even get a chance to use my computer. We're renting GLEAMING THE CUBE. Like Skateboards? Like Christian Slater - this is the movie. I happen to actually like both - wow I'm so excited.Odd feeling. But he's bout twenty in the movie - playing this high school rebel - he really does look like he belongs in high school. But it's bout his adopted brother getting killed - so he goes and seeks revenge - wow - a guy that kills - that has to be great. But - don't think I won't give you a review -.-'


	19. Disposable heroes

A/N: As much as this pisses me off - it needs to be done. Sorry for the COMPLETELY late chapter - but I can't just leave you all out to dry - can I? This may very well not be as good as the first time I wrote it - but I'mma try my best to complete it as soon and as good as possible - sticking to all the main points of the original one - ...not that you'd know..I did see gleaming the cube by the way. And let me just say...it is now my...MOST FAVORITE show ever. Oh I loved it. Christian Slater...wow - he is like - the hottest actor in a single movie I have ever EVER seen. It was just great. cough but...on to the story now...The chapter's a little different than the original one - but I've realized that I like this one more. Sorry it has taken me forever to update - unfortuantely, I'm only 15 - which means I'm under my parents' mercy - they tend to think that computers are all I need to function properly - so every time I do ANYTHING wrong - they take it away. But old ppl always fall asleep first.

Disposable Heroes

Build my fear of what's out there

and cannot breathe the open air

whisper things into my brain

assuring me that I'm insane

they think our heads are in their hands

but violent use brings violent plans

keep him tied, it makes him well

he's getting better - can't you tell?

No more can they keep us in

listen, damn it, we will win

they see it right, they see it well

but they think this saves us from our hell

Billie slouched in one of those old uncomfortable hospital chairs - her feet propped up on Freddy's hospital bed - unconsciously watching reruns of Cheers on his hospital tv - as he snored quietly - like most guys do. She quietly recited a line from an odd episode - at the same time as the character did. And even though she'd seen this episode hundreds of times before - she still laughed along with the fake crowd on the screen.

Billie had begun to notice that she'd been awfully crabby since she heard about her mother's death - and even though she hated it - she could't possibly prevent nor stop it. So - her conclusion was - just stay away from as many people as possible at all times and at all costs. But she couldn't really bring herself to stay away from Freddy - he had a fractured lung for Christ's sake! Plus he'd been sleeping an awful lot lately - so when there's no talking involved it wasn't as difficult to not talk.

She hadn't really thought much about her mother's funeral - ignoring all the phone calls from that funeral place - refusing to remember what should not have been - and refusing to leave the confines of public places in fear of her father - she hadn't really been able to act the same as Freddy and her friends knew her to be. Not only this but her appearance had all of a sudden turned dark and depressive - she had an old friend dye her hair a few different colors. That fake kind of robbon's egg blue - that hot pink color. Maroon, neon green - her hair must've been the most happy thing about her - even if the Mooneyham's hated her for it. She also had the same friend give her a few piercings that she hadn't been able to get - just to humor her mother. A nose stud, an eyebrow ringlet. She had also gotten the top of her right eye pierced with a stud - and even though her friend pierced the bottom of both ears she only were one earing on the left ear - a chain length sort of earing - a thin chain with a thin skull at the bottom. It was quite a new look for the pessimistic person.

The only thing about Billie that hadn't really changed was her shoes. She still were the traditional black and white converse all stars high tops (or mid tops?). But that was it. She had also basically swore off eating - loosing weight in the blink of an eye. Despite the Mooneyhams' efforts - they also began to notice that Billie rarely went to school. Something just HAD to change. SOON.

The only person that Billie could actually talk to - respectfully - actually turned out to be Freddy. She had long since scared away Zack and Marta - and basically the rest of the band. But Katie still greeted her the same as she had always greeted her - even after Billie had drastically altered her apparence. Katie had lost her parents recently in a fire at the work that they had always shared - she had also gone through that whole withdrawn case. But she was better now - and it was gonna be the same thing for Billie. But Billie was different. Katie knew that Billie was more drastic than she had ever been - she knew that Billie was able to do more hurtful things to herself and many others.

Billie shook her head hard - stopping quickly soon after to ward off the oncoming dizzyness. Cheers ended - so Billie snatched up the remote control and started flipping through the channels again. "Teen titans should be on," came a male murmur. Billie snapped her head away from the tv set to stare evenly at Freddy. "If..you wanna watch it - that is."

Billie changed the channel to cartoon network. She shrugged. "Hey man - this ain't my crib."

"Are you calling me a baby?" Freddy asked slowly - trying to lighten up the tension that had fallen between the two over the past few days. Billie laughed quietly - something that she hadn't done in a while. Freddy grined at her grin - knowing that he had put it there. "So...what's up?"

"Marta and Zack have been fighting a lot lately..." Billie murmured quietly. "And I don't mean how me and Summer fight," she added. "I mean - Marta technically attempted murder him each time they see each other. It's hard to believe they were ever dating."

Freddy nodded - as if he weren't surprised. "Yup...the world falls apart without me there. It's sad. And a little pathetic."

"Not everybody has fallen apart," Billie snapped quietly.

Freddy raised an eyebrow. "You call yourself together? Look at yourself!"

Billie looked down at the black oversized pants and her thin Metallica shirt. She could also notice her black fingernails. She didn't hate fingernail polish - in her opinion the polish helped her not bite her nails - and indeed they were considerably longer. Her thin yet tan arms were visible in her vision as well - as were her traditional shoes. She looked back up at Freddy. "What's your point? I have a personality..."

Freddy shook his head. "You mean you _used _to have a personality."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Billie snapped.

"You've changed, Billie," Freddy replied - sadly (awww...). "You're nothing like you were before -"

"Hence the statement - 'you've changed'," Billie interrupted.

Freddy was quiet for a moment. "I don't think I like the change."

Billie nodded. "Of course you don't. Change is what you fear the most. You've always grown up with this set personality - and set reputation - but now that it has all changed for - you fear what change could be brought to everyone alround you."

Freddy's eyes narrowed. "I don't fear change," he snapped in a dark voice.

Billie shook her head. "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt anymore, bud."

"I'm not in denial!" Freddy shouted angrily.

"See - right there - you're so far in denial you don't even know it!" Billie shouted back - not all that angry.

"Billie...this isn't funny," Freddy commented quietly. "We're falling apart and -"

"You're not liking it," Billie interrupted. "I've noticed that, Frederick. But as humans - we naturally have drifted apart - it's only part of the human process - it's natural. It was inevitable."

"Quit talking like that!" Freddy shouted again.

Billie looked evenly at Freddy. "Sorry - that seems to be the only part of myself that remains - do you wish me to _change _it? Just for you, buddy?"

Freddy blinked. "No...no I don't...but you've already changed everything else about you for a man who used to beat you!"

"As did you, Freddy. As I recall you're not all that much like yourself anymore," Billie retorted.

"But I..."

"Changed for the better?" Billie interrupted for the third time. "Who's you to say which of us is better? You've become an uptight, sensitive puss!" Billie nearly shouted. "Just because I've altered my appearances and attitude just a tad doesn't mean I'm different. I'm free now, Freddy - while your peers still weigh you down as gravity should."

"What the hell!" Freddy roared.

Billie shrugged. "We are now opposites, Frederick - you are becoming just the kind of guy you've ALWAYS opposed." She pulled on her fingerless skate gloves and jumped to her feet. "You've changed. And I don't think I like that change." She snatched up her 80's Metallica jacket (it was her mother's) and kicked up her board - gripping it by it's front two wheels. "Perhaps Katie will." Billie headed for the door.

"When did you learn to skate?" Freddy asked - completely off topic.

"When I was six," Billie replied. "Mom taught me - before he started his whole charade. She taught me everything she knew..."

"Why didn't you ever skate before?" Freddy asked quietly.

"She abandoned me, Freddy," Billie pointed out. "Would you really skate if your mentor abandoned you?" He shook his head solemnly. "I need transportation now. I wasn't aware how much I'd miss the board."

Freddy nodded. "Don't leave," he murmured. Billie narrowed her eyes. "Don't walk out on me..."

"Why not?" She asked seriously.

"She walked out on you, Billie," he pointed out. "You know how that feels - do you really hate me that much?"

Billie stared at Freddy for a long time. "No," she eventually answered. "Not _that _much." Billie walked back over to Freddy and dropped down heavily in the chair. "Sorry I've been such a bitch lately."

Freddy shrugged. "It's not your fault - chicks, man - they're all hormonal shit and -"

"Freddy!"

-

-

"Heavy Metal?" Freddy named off.

"Metallica," Billie stated firmly - without a moment's hesitation. They had been playing the same game for the last two hours - one person would name a subject or thing - and the other would HAVE to reply with an answer. Sure, it wasn't the most original - but it wasn't exactly boring. "Summer Hathaway?" Billie asked randomly.

"Controlling!" Freddy named off loudly. Billie gave him a look. He already knew that she wanted to know his opinion on her - not the obvious shit. Freddy sighed loudly. "Alright...Well, lets see, known her since kindergarten...believe it or not - she's not the worst manager. She's actually kind of understanding - to some people. Katie's like her best friend I guess - and she tells me an awful lot of shit that I really...don't care about - but she actually gives an awful lot of support for her reason...of course I can't tell her that but...y'know..."

Summer figured this as good a time as any to interrupt. She knocked loudly on the already open door. Freddy and Billie both looked toward the door. "Hey, Summer," Freddy greeted quietly. Summer waved uncomfortably. "Well...come in at least."

She walked in slowly, stopping inches from the bed. "I just came...to check on you..."

Freddy's expression eased up on her a little bit, slowly turning into a grin. "Why? Because you were worried? Because you like me? Because you LOVE me! Aw Summer! Come give me a great big hug..."

Summer gave him a disgusted look. "No way!"

"I personally would like to initiate a group hug," a deep voice broke in. Billie and Summer exchanged looks before eyeing Freddy - who had frozen completely. The two girls turned toward the door - to see none other than - Axle Jones. Dun Dun dunnnnn!

"What are you doing here?" Freddy finally asked in a cold voice.

"I uh..." Axle walked further into the room. "I heard 'bout what happened. You're my son...son, I had to check up on you." Axle hovered between Billie and Summer, making them both tense. "How've you been, kiddo?"

Freddy's eyes narrowed, yet his thin face paled. "Cut the crap, Axle, I dunno why you're here, but I know it's not this caring shit you're copping. What the hell are you here for?"

Axle nodded solemnly. "I always knew my kid would take after me -"

"I act nothing like you," Freddy cut in.

"I'm here for custody, jr. I'm here for you," Axle answered shortly - in a taunting voice.

Freddy was quiet for a moment before, "No fucking way."

"This isn't your choice kid," Axle argued. "Now...The cops may not know that you instigated the fight - but I know this was your doing. But your achievements were all in vain - while getting rid of Josh - You've just proved your own mother to be an unfit parent."

Freddy shook his head. "You're worst than her..."

"They can't possibly know that, Freddy," Axle pointed out. "And I know you don't believe that. I never would've allowed this to happen to you."

"The hell you would! You'd be the one committing this to me!" Freddy shouted, straightening up in his bed. Billie and Summer were near invisible but still they tried to force their way in.

"Guys...this isn't -" Summer began.

Axle rounded on her. "Shut up," he interrupted rudely.

Freddy was on his feet. "Hey, man," he barked, advancing on his only real father. "Don't talk to her like that -"

"Oh...this is...this is your - your girl?" Axle eyed Summer invitingly this time. "My word, boy - you didn't do too bad for yourself..."

"Stop it," Freddy ground out. "Stop doing this..."

"Whats the matter, boy?" Axle took a step closer to Freddy, who lurched back in return. "Didn't you miss me?"

Freddy shook his head hard. "No...no, I didn't..."

"Don't lie," Axle growled. "I know you missed me. I know you want nothing more than a warm hug from me..."

"Leave him alone," Billie finally broke in.

Axle eyed Billie. "And who is this fine female I do not recognize?"

"That's Billie Rebelle, she lives with Zack now," Freddy answered quietly. He still knew what would happen if he refused to answer.

"Why?" Axle pushed.

"Because her father killed her mother," Freddy answered again.

Axle nodded. "Oh. So killing you mom is out of the picture..."

"This isn't funny," Freddy stated firmly.

Axle ran a hand through Freddy's hair. "Oh c'mon, boy, as I recall - you were always the one telling inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times. You act like an expert on seriousness now. Guess your mom really did whip you into shape..."

"She didn't," Freddy drawled. "She didn't do anything..."

"You and I both know that I rubbed off onto your mother, boy," Axle stated firmly. "She never hesitated to smack you around when she felt the need. Or anger."

Freddy shook his head. "Shut up," he ordered quietly.

"You're acting like the game is over now that that sickfuck Josh has gone off and killed himself. You are sadly mistaken, fore the game has just begun."

-

again, I apologize for the delay - please review.

21 jump street - second season - March 8


	20. Concrete Angel

A/N - again sorry for that last chapter- it was ridiculously late - so I decided to get started on this one pronto. So if you do advise stuff - and please do - you'll find it could possibly not be in this chapter simply because I finished it first. Which is unlikely - but still...

Concrete Angel

What do I do to ignore them behind me

do I follow my instincts blindly

Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams

and give in to sad thoughts that are maddening

do I sit here and try to stand it

or do I try to catch them red-handed

do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness

or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness

because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin

I make the right moves but I'm lost within

I put on my daily facade but then

I just end up getting hurt again

Freddy collapsed onto Billie's bed. It'd been so long since he'd been in a 'real' bed, he could hardly remember how one felt. Freddy was actually a little astonished and slightly unnerved that he'd accustomed Billie's room himself. He could see litterings of things he had dilerbertly let in her room - he had an entire CD shelf, his drum set, school books and homework that he never intended to do, hell - even clothes. Billie's room wasn't exactly the cleanest anymore though, so his clothes could mix evenly with her own - and he could find Billie wearing some articles of his clothing. Of course she knew it too - she knew what didn't belong to her quite will - but she never seemed to mind him unconsciously trashing her room.

"What the hell is that?" Freddy asked pointing to a pile of garbage.

"I don't know," Zack answered. "But I swear I just saw it move a moment ago."

Freddy sighed, taking large gulps of air in. "Boy it sure is good to be back in the real world." Sure, Zack couldn't be happier to have his friend back, but still he couldn't quite bring himself to REALLY be happy. "Is it Marta?" Freddy asked knowingly.

Zack nodded. "She tell you?"

Freddy shook his head. "Billie told me."

This didn't seem to shock Zack all that much, but he still couldn't help giving Freddy a envious look. Zack hadn't been seeing all that much of Billie - she was always out, out at the hospital, or her new favorite hang out - Starbucks (oddly enuff) - or when she wasn't she was always in her room and no one really wanted to bother her. No one but Freddy. The guy who never took no for an answer.

Billie never seemed to reach out to anyone else. She was in pain, it was understandable, but Freddy still shoved his way in - more than willingly to comfort her - as if he knew what she was going through. As if he had already lost his own mother.

"You two heading for splitsville," Freddy added solemnly, yawning. "I hear it's not a very fun place."

Zack shook his head, dropping down onto the Billie's bed beside Freddy. "It's not," he groaned loudly. "I'm on the first train out."

"The S train?" Freddy asked triedly.

"What the hell?" Zack snapped, eyeing his best friend. "S? Summer? Those nurses gave you too much fucking drugs, you're as a high as a goddamn kite! Are you insane - knock your head against the ground ten billion too many times? HELL NO I ain't hooking up with her!"

"Why not?" Freddy asked rationally. "She's perfectly fine. Why should "

"She's perfectly fine?" Zack repeated. "She's prefectly fine! Are you seriosuly ill, Freddy, man this is SUMMER, the bitch from hell? What'd they do to you in that hospital."

Freddy shrugged. "Got an awful lot of sponge baths," he grinned brightly.

"Oh god," Zack groaned.

"This is stupid," Billie ground out, trying to prevent the glare from rising to her dark features. "Therapy. I don't need therapy. I'm perfectly fine. Really."

"Perfectly fine?" Janie Mooneyham repeated. "Sweetie, you've changed everything about yourself as you possibly could. Were you unhappy with your appearance before?"

"No," Billie answered. "But I didn't change everything. I didn't change my friends, I didn't change my personalty or my train of thought. I didn't change any of that important shit - just the things that people pick out to judge you on. And so what? Does looking this way giving you any insight to how I really feel or act inside? No. You're judging - just like everyone else."

"Sweety, we're just concerned for, that's all it is," Janie pointed out kindly.

"But you not," Billie argued. "You don't care for me at all! "

"Don't talk to my wife like that," John butted in a little angry.

"You don't know me the way you think you do, mooneyham," Billie pointed out calmly. "You don't know me at all, and how are you to care for somebody you don't know? How are you to care for somebody you can't find a reason to care for?"

"Sweety, lots of kids face withdrawal if a parent dies, he's not your fault," Janie tried to comfort.

Billie nodded. "Yeah, that's just peachy, except I'm not 'facing' withdrawal. I'm not withdrawing from anybody!"

"We have a strict policy against lying," John butted in again.

"That's great. Except I'm not lying! Everytime I left the house where did I go? To the hospital! To see a friend! A friend I am not withdrawing from. Sure I got a little testing, but you guys are the ones that backed off of me - not the other way around. I told you where I was, if you wanted to bother me - by all means I wouldn't have stopped you."

"But dear, you're not acting the same," Janie pointed out again. "You don't have that same excited yet bored look in your eyes."

"You can't be happy forever," Billie stated firmly. "I'm not happy - but then again are YOU really all that happy?"

"I beg your pardon?" Janie gasped quietly.

"Of course she's happy!" John butted in.

"I'm not going to therapy," Billie repeated, putting off her anger as much as she could.

"It's a requirement," John growled. "Either you go see a therapist or you get the hell out of my house."

"I'll go for that latter one." Billie rose from couch and hurried out of room before they could anger her anymore. Now she could remember why she hated that whole parent scene.

Billie bursted into her 'room' and went straight for the closest, ignoring both freddy and Zack. "What're you doing?" Freddy finally asked as they both saw her grabbed out a suitcase and begin to stuff clothes into it. "Billie?"

"I'm leaving," Billie ground out without stopping her flow of packing. "I'm leaving," she repeated.

"Leaving?" Zack repeated. "What? Why?"

"I'm NOT seeing a therapist," she stated firmly, zipping up her suit case. She tossed that one aside and pulled out another suitcase. "I'm not..."

"Why not?" Freddy asked, rising to a sitting position on the bed.

"She can't handle the truth," a deep voice answered from the door. Zack and Freddy turned toward the door to see Dr. Pepper (sorry, ran out of name ideas and there's a Dr. Pepper can right here) leaning against the door frame. (he's the therapist...)

"I can't handle frauds," Billie countered. She rose from the floor and started snatching valuable items from her desk/dresser ect. and tossing them into the open suitcase.

"I am no fraud," Dr. Pepper argued.

"Oh really? Well guess what, I don't need some dickweed to come in here - not knowing a damn useful thing about me - and start to tell me how I feel, and how I should act. I don't need another person to tell me I'm not living my life how its supposed to be. I like how I look, I like how I act, I like how I think and I like how I'm handling my mother's death, alright? I don't need you. You are useless. Now leave my goddamn room."

"What could your mother have done to make you hold her inside with so much anger?" Dr. Pepper asked, as if he had just ignored her comment before.

Billie frinally stopped packing to look at the doctor. "Nothing," she commented dully.

Dr. Pepper shook his head. "It can't be nothing. You hate her with all this fury, but why? What did she do?"

"Nothing," Billie answered. "She did nothing, even when I needed nothing more than her to do something. She closed her eyes and wished the world away and did absolutely nothing. She was a waste of human flesh. She was a goddamn waste that is about to be returned to the earth, so the earth can conjure another waste just like her. She's was nothing. And I'm not angry." She resumed her packing.

"Are you sure you're not angry?" Zack asked her. "Because if this is you happy, I fear how you might act when you're angry."

"You find this a joke, Mooneyham?" Billie snapped.

"Don't forget who's house you're in," Zack warned. "You have no right to talk to me like that!" They both knew it was fake anger.

"You don't understand this," Billie told Zack solumnly. "You don't get any of this. But neither does that fraud." She was talking specifically to Zack now. "It's not the fact that she died. I always knew she would die - and I always knew it'd be like this. I always knew it'd be at his hands. It's the fact that I told her he was going to be the death of her. I told her I wanted her to leave him. She said she would, she said the next time he came around, she'd kick him out. But she never did. He came around, already drunk stiff, he took care of what he wanted to do to me - leaving me semiconscious - then he'd ALWAYS go for her. He'd always get into bed, and force her to do what I can only hope she didn't want. I could hear her whimpers and her yelps and her screams and her sobbing through the thin wall. And it would just make me want to puke. I guess I kind of knew she wanted to end whatever she had with him, but she just couldn't. And I'll never know why. He didn't do ANYTHING for her, he didn't give her money, he didn't pay rent, he didn't help support the family, and all he ever did was come over to set me in my place and give her a good bruising as well. What kind of guy is that? But what kind of woman was she for allowing it? I dunno who's worst! Him for doing the crime or her for standing aside and not fighting. That's what burns me every night, Zack. That's why I was so impacted by her death. Because that just signalfied that her life was really a waste and it cannot be reversed. It can no longer be changed."

"Billie..." Zack murmured. "Billie, it's "

"It's nothing, Zack. That's all the therapy I need, Pepper." She looked up at the doctor now. "You hear that? I know why I'm like this and I know I don't intend to change it any more drastic. I'm not gonna go kill myself. I'm fine - I don't need her, and I don't need him and I definetly don't need them."

Freddy was onto his feet before he could prevent himself. He pulled Billie into a rough hug, ignoring the fight that she put up to get away from him. She eventually settled down and let him hug her. "We don't want you to go," Freddy murmured roughly into her ear. "I don't want you to leave us..."

"You don't understand," Billie muttered sadly in return.

"I understand perfectly fine," Freddy replied, softer this time. "You've met my parents, you know how they are. I'm pretty sure he's not as bad as your dad - but you can't let that old bastard run your life. By leaving here you'll finalise his control over you, Bill...you can't do that..."

"They told me to leave..." Billie mumbled.

"And I'm asking you to stay..."


End file.
